Re: I told my daughter about her dad's drug addiction! -- METH HELP FOR FAMILIES

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Subject: Re: I told my daughter about her dad's drug addiction!

Author:
Heather

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Date Posted: 09:10:37 07/26/06 Wed
In reply to: Kim 's message, "Re: I told my daughter about her dad's drug addiction!" on 20:40:27 07/25/06 Tue

First- Congratulations on getting clean. You did the right thing. It seems hard now, but in time, the experience will teach you lots of lessons that you will have to see with your own eyes. I don't have any answers for you about telling your kids what is going on, but it is important that they know its not their fault. I told my youngest that his dad was sick. I told my oldest the truth. It was a good thing I did cause he remembers everytime he knows he is coming to visit. He says in a whisper - I thought he was you know on that stuff. Then I have to explain that he tries to quit using and then starts back up again and I explained as many effects that I could to him being that he doesn't understand the meaning of headchange. What helped me also was seeing other addicts on the street, and being bale to tell my son, see that person is on drugs, and I tell him I know. I have learned to see that now. I am sure you know when you see them. It doesn't look attractive to the kids once you point out the negative effects of the drugs. The kids will be fine as long as they have you staying strong. I have made the mistake of not keeping my word to my husband. I had many boundaries that I let him cross. That I regret. If I say something - I wanted to mean it. Like if he gets clean and wants to be a dad, he must so a hair follicle test, counseling, parenting class, and must show a pattern of being clean. My heart loved him so much that I believed him every time he said something. Still up until last week even. I learn something new each time I believe him though. I learn that something is always next. He may be clean from drugs, but now he is out drinking and partying alot. My opinion is that he is not very interested in being a dad or even being too involved in my sons life. He would like to be able to see him when he misses him or wants to show off that he is a dad. Forgets we all have feelings. Cause it hurts to watch him do that to my son. Plus he says all these nice things to me and I get caught up inthe momen and I find myself getting down all over again. Time has taken the depression away and there is no way I am taking it back. He is still sick and I don't know what makes him think he is all better. I hope some of this has helped you.
By the way - I tried keeping him from us when he would come around. It worked for a couple months at a time. Then I would give. If you can be stronger than me, he just might let your kids and you live in peace, or better - straighten up. As you know it will be a long road and some it is tougher for.
Hope this helps you a little

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