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Subject: Re: For those of you that are an addict/were a user


Author:
Heather
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Date Posted: 14:48:37 08/02/06 Wed
In reply to: Hulalea 's message, "Re: For those of you that are an addict/were a user" on 11:15:52 08/02/06 Wed
 Thank you Hula. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with and to think that with time it would get easier is true and not true at the same time. My heart still hurts so bad and now it isn't for me, its for my babies. I try daily, sometimes I fail, other times I succeed, some days more than other days. I remind myself that I am not the only one that has gone through this nor will I be the last and most of all I AM NOT CRAZY! People like to make you think you are crazy, but as long as I stay grounded I believe I am as normal as the next person.
You know, God puts things in your life when you least expect it. My sister and her kids are living with me right now and have been for nearly 3 months and that has made me stronger too. It gave me more people around me and other things to think about other than his problems. At times I have fell and dwelled but I had my sister there and she said to me..I have always seen you as this amazing strong woman that can do anything, what are you doing worrying about this ass that doesn't care about you or your children? Let him go, stop worrying about him and get on with your life. Everything you all have been telling me. Actually I hear it alot. I know its what I need to do and I am doing it, just sometimes I second guess myself and the process gets put on hold. I am feeling better again with everyday that passes. I have prayed some pretty selfish prayers but God knows my heart and my needs and he is meeting them everyday. I have been on the search for a new church and haven't found one that I feel meets all the needs of my family. One church is nice for the kids, the other is nice for me and has no real kids ministry, so now Sunday I am checking out my ex father in laws church. He told me that hte kids ministry is great and hopefully it will meet my needs as well. My oldest son has joined the refreshment ministry there and will serve refreshments and coffee after service twice a month and be a part of their meetings and get a badge,etc. I want my little one to be in on church stuff like that too. He feels so special when he gets to do stuff for others. He has been happy lately because his name is under the happy face on the chalk board at school. He is really proud. Mean sometimes but is doing better the longer his dad is out of the picture.
You know Hula - I was looking at some pictures yesterday and the transformation of Spencer is amazing. He went from looking really bad to decent to bad again to decent to now you cannot even tell he ever touched drugs. Well unless he opens his arrogant mouth and starts blaming, etc...Do you still think he is using.. Can an addict look that great and still be using?
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Re: HeatherMelinda22:01:06 08/02/06 Wed

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