Author:
David Usually in Hong Kong
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Date Posted: 19:56:29 12/25/01 Tue
In reply to:
Trippingchris
's message, "Re: How do you view Brian and Pete?" on 21:30:06 12/23/01 Sun
I haven't posted here in a while. Just goes to show what being relaxed and at home with your lover can do! Plus being on holiday, too, of course.
For sure, Pete is the rock. I agree with everybody else about that. But being the strong one is also beneficial to him in the couple, speaking psychologically. Basically, Brian won't ever be able to leave him. Not for long, at least, and not so long as Pete keeps forgiving him and taking him back. He needs Pete too much. So Pete is in a safe and secure position, not having to fear ultimate rejection. All he has to do is keep putting up with Brian's insecurities, fears, and temper.
Brian needs Pete's strength, stability, and self-lessness. Pete needs to be needed. For sure, they love each other hugely, and I agree that gives many readers hope for themselves in their own situations.
But I am a shrink in real life, and I work with couples as well as individuals. Whoever described the couple as a ticking time bomb may well be correct. If this was a real life couple coming to me (and I also agree that Brian and Pete could use couple's counselling!) I would be working on 2 issues equally with them.
Firstly, of course, is Brian's self-esteem. His anger management skills need work too. At times, the way he treats people when he's angry borders on abusive, and could get worse. His underlying fear of abandonment might cause the thing he fears the most if he ends up alone due to his problems.
Secondly, I'd work with Pete on why he needs to be needed so much. Beyond love, there's co-dependence. And this couple coule end up there if both don't end up equally strong as the other.
Hope that's helpful, Dewey!
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