| Subject: Re: Just a chatty update. Now you should post your update! |
Author:
Chiska
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Date Posted: 10:52:25 03/20/07 Tue
In reply to:
Elisa
's message, "Re: Just a chatty update. Now you should post your update!" on 07:57:15 03/19/07 Mon
Thanks Elisa,
I appreciated your comment about isolation. I think too once you've experienced difficult things you really do realize that you're not the only one (once the initial shock wears off)who struggles regardless of how difficult or simple things look from the outside. It's tricky sometimes to get to that point (at least for me) but certainly makes things nicer. I think too that life is easier when you know that the difficulties that we face have to steal a quote from Napoleon Hill....I'll just give you the whole quote: "Every adversity, every heartache, every failure carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit." That's been a good reminder for me lately. When we use our experiences to grow, we get to. Anyway, good luck with the challenges ahead and thanks again for your comment.
Now I have to share a funny story. We give Britt medicine through a short tube that connects to a little thing that looks similar to the blow up valve on a beach ball. I shoot the medicine into it with syringes and wait for it to make its way around the air and then pull back the plunger on the syringe to push it into his belly. Britt's starting to show some independent thought and likes to grab the tube and squish it with his hands then pull it out. I was not going to let that happen again. So I grabbed his hands. He's pretty strong and pretty determined so I have to use both hands. Now I'm in a quandry as to what to do to get the meds into him. I think, well I'll just blow them in with my mouth. About that time Britt decides to fight back with the air from his belly and blows all of the medicine into my mouth. Take that mom! Just when you think you know what's going on, there's a mouth full of nasty tasting stuff waiting for you! :)
>Chiska, I hope things work out for you with Wade's job
>and house situation.
>
>I think your comment about expecting to feel different
>or "fit in" more once you had husband and kids is so
>profound and so true. When I was younger and looked
>at people ahead of me in life experience I thought
>that when I got to their point in life I would be so
>much wiser, more confident, more everything. And yes,
>I do feel like I've gained more wisdom and more
>confidence as I've conquered some of life's
>challenges, but at the same time, at my core I am
>still the same person I was 5, 10, 15 years ago. So
>interesting. One thing I have learned, Chiska, and
>maybe this will make sense, maybe not, is that I can't
>isolate myself from the rest of the human race. It
>seems to be my tendancy to view myself as an island -
>as somehow totally different from everyone else and
>thinking that my challenges or my feelings are totally
>different from what everyone else is experiencing.
>Luckily, I've come to realize that that perspective is
>completely untrue. And it is so much easier to face
>challenges knowing that I am no different from
>everyone else in what I'm going through. That doesn't
>mean things aren't still really hard, but it makes it
>a little better.
>
>Speaking of challenges . . . :)
>
>Ryan and I are getting a divorce. I feel very much at
>peace about it, but that doesn't ease the pain of the
>breakup. I do feel optimistic about my future, about
>marrying again and being able to start a family. I
>feel like I've learned a lot from this experience so
>far and know myself better and know what I need in a
>spouse so much better than I did before. I recognize
>now that a big part of my decision to marry Ryan was
>driven my my personal insecurities, and luckily I feel
>like I have overcome those insecurities for the most
>part. At the same time I still mourn the ending of
>this relationship. And I have to keep reminding
>myself that I really am taking steps forward, and not
>backwards. Yesterday church was really hard (I'm
>living with my parents right now and going to their
>ward). There are a lot of new babies in their ward
>and that made me sad. Some people came up and said
>they were sorry to hear about my divorce, and that
>made me sad. I don't know . . . so many different
>emotions. It's definitely quite a roller coaster.
>And now that Ryan has finally come to terms with where
>we are at he is kind of bitter and rude with me.
>We're both wanting to have an uncontested divorce -
>meaning we don't go to court, we just decide between
>ourselves how to divide up our assets. On Saturday we
>got into a big argument over some things and Ryan said
>he was considering asking for alimony since I make
>more money than him. Oh brother, what a joke. Can
>you imagine a 29 year old, employed man seeking
>alimony from his wife?? I think it's pretty silly.
>
>Anyway . . . the joys of divorce. I'm just trying to
>keep myself pointed in the right direction and taking
>baby steps forward. I'm getting our house ready to
>sell now and I think once that is done and once we get
>divorce papers filed I will be able to breath easier,
>think more clearly and sleep better!
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