Subject:  You have dones so WELL! |
Author:
Gary
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Date Posted: 04:26:49 05/18/04 Tue
Author Host/IP: 162.84.116.23
In reply to:
Boo
's message, "Re: stop, Stop, STOP!!!! ...and surrender." on 05:35:48 05/17/04 Mon
Dear Boo,
Do you realize that you last wrote back in March? Since then the river has flowed further downstream, and you are still alive AND wishing for a better life. Did you realize you had the stuff in you back then that would allow you to reach this point? Congratulations!
Now, relaxing and not 'fighting' your situation does not mean that things get better, but that you get less beat up than if your had continued to fight. Where is your situation taking you? Can you see the handwriting on the wall? Is that handwriting what you wish?
If you answer "no" to the above question, you may still be fighting for what you consider is the better "right" outcome (i.e., expectation). But do you really, really know what the best outcome should be?
If you are truly at the lowest, lowest point in your life, then what direction is there left for you to go in? Up? Doesn't that give you encouragement. And if you are not at the lowest point yet in your life, can you really stop the slide if the slope is still steep? And when you try to stop the slide, what happens to your hands and body? What happens if you are trying to break the slide?
Does the slide feel better if you "think" there are sins that you committed for which this slide is punishment?
I do know some things about slides. Mine started back in January, 1996. I'm just now coming to the very end of my slide. It will be over with this year. But I could never get it to end when I wished it to end. I had to let life slow down my speed of failing and falling. It has, and now I do see a beautiful potential ahead of me. It is still ahead of me, but it is there.
What forces started your slide only God knows. Besides, if we knew it is now to late to stop what has been started. You will have to let it play out. But you can live through this slide, and can effect how well positioned your life is when the slide stops. But the slide usually doesn't stop for years (not months, weeks, or days).
Have you heard of Byron Katie? She has a book titled "Loving What Is." Rather than get the book, I would get the audiobook. Since so much of the book is dialoge with clients, it is better to hear the dialoge than read it. See if the library has it, or eBay, or Amazon.com. It is truly remarkable.
Now, getting the audiobook will NOT stop the slide, but it may help your ability to operate during the slide.
Yes, I did say "we chose the life we are presently
living way before we came here because of the lessons
that we will be getting." I also agree with your statement that, today, "there is no way I would have
chosen to go through all this misery at once." Isn't is great that we made the choice BEFORE we found ourselves stuck in it!
You said: "Its one thing to go through trying times at different stages of one's life but when everything literally happens at once it is just to much to bear."
Again, your wisdom is on target. Yes, it seems to much to bear, but you are doing it just as I did it. There really wasn't any choice for us, was there? Since the sun came up the next morning, we did get up because that is what you do when the sun comes up. And you will do that, too, again and again.
Do not try to "understand what is going on anymore." It is not worth the effort of our time. Just keep going on. I'm in my 9th year, and I still do not understand. But I do know I'm now going in a very different direction than I would have traveled if my "difficulties" had not happened. And I'm beginning to really get excited about the new direction even though I do not know yet how I will be able to support my wife and myself in it. I've gone through so much I simply know I can trust the future.
You will be where I am now some time in the future. Let God pick the pace and the method of arrival (in fact, you might as well since you can not change it one bit except for learning to enjoy the trip better - see Byron Katie for suggestions).
Boo, please write more. Please keep in touch. You are doing such a worth while trek (i.e., healing yourself which improves us all). You are loved. Your angels, guides and masters are all cheering your progress. Your route, because it is so difficult, is blessing us all.
Love,
Gary
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