Re: Bowdrill -- Talking Circle Alternative

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, [10] ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: Tue, 12/17/02 6:11pm
Author: CaseynGeneva
Subject: Re: Bowdrill
In reply to: Kangi 's message, "Bowdrill" on Tue, 12/17/02 1:37pm

Obviously, I'm not bowdrill, but I'd like to comment on a couple of things, if I may.

"One of the things one who taught me a lot when I was a young girl, he told me I would be accepted by many and accepted by none. He was right"

This was a big concern for me when I was pregnant with my son (biracial black/white). Most told me I should have an abortion, especially because I'm very pro-choice -- key word CHOICE (geesh, I just wish people would get it sometimes). My "choice" was to have him, so then everyone told me I should give him up for adoption because it would be so hard to raise him. Yeah right -- oh that would surely help him, wouldn't it? Not only to be biracial, but to find out his own mom didn't want him?

I raised him to be proud of all that he is -- that he received the best of both worlds. At the same time, I cautioned him not to place his identify solely on his race. Who he is as a person is more important than his racial background. If he tries to fit in with blacks because he is black, it won't work. If he tries to fit in with whites because he is white, it won't work. He has been accepted in both groups because he entered as himself and has remained true to himself. The few who have rejected him due to his race are simply not worth having in his life anyway, so it's been no great loss for him.

"He also told me not to mistrust whites all the time and not to trust Indians all the time. Or I would find myself hurt a lot. Again he was right
"

I don't think trust is race-specific. There are very few that I fully trust, but those I do trust have been of different races (including white). I'll admit, though, I'm less trusting of white people in general. Maybe I've just seen the ugly side too often, maybe it's because I'm one of them and hear firsthand what is said behind closed doors (especially when they are unaware of my family or beliefs).

There are very few whites who are not racist -- either blatantly or in subtle ways. I even question myself sometimes -- I'm sure some of that has rubbed off on me somehow, I just don't know how.

Not all will hurt you, but you do have to keep some type of guard up while around them. I'm even cautious around those who think a person is "cool" simply because of their race. They are placing that person on a pedestal, not seeing them as an equal human being. What happens when that "cool" person does not live up to their expectations? They fall off the pedestal.

Oh well, so many things to ponder in life -- so many lessons to learn. When do the lessons stop? I think you know the answer to that one -- when the story ends. I'm not sure about you, but I'm not ready to stop learning just yet.

Kathy

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

Re: Bowdrill -- Kangi, Tue, 12/17/02 7:16pm
- Re: Kangi -- bow, Tue, 12/17/02 9:25pm
  - Re: Kangi -- Kangi, Tue, 12/17/02 9:54pm