Re: crazy girl seeks help -- Talking Circle Alternative

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Date Posted: Mon, 02/24/03 8:50am
Author: Chahta Chito
Subject: Re: crazy girl seeks help
In reply to: chahta_ndn_girl0 's message, "crazy girl seeks help" on Mon, 02/24/03 4:06am

>Hello all...
>
>I post this here instead of the other place, because,
>well its just more personal hear. This is where only
>my "buds" are!
>
>As I have mentioned before, I have panic disorder.
>Well today is the day that I start (hopefully) getting
>my life back.
>
>I have an appointment with an O-fficial head doctor!
>I am absolutely positive that I am going to regret
>writing this later, but its 3:30 a.m. and I cant
>sleep, and to be honest, am having a very hard time of
>it right now! So, in my feeble little brain of the
>moment, thought, ya know, I need to get some of this
>crap out of my head (before it just explodes all over
>my living room walls - and I just painted in here a
>couple of months ago!)so why not let some of it out
>with you guys!
>
>I have very much learned that I am the type of person
>that can be understanding and sympathetic to anyone
>else having "mental and emotional" problems, and can
>support them. But in myself, it is nothing more than
>a collosal weakness!!! So I am beating myself up
>pretty good!
>
>I think the thing that is killing me the most, is that
>I can so much remember the DJ I used to be! And I
>just can't seem to find her anymore! My mom used to
>refer to my personality as effervesent (bubbly)! I
>was the laughter of the party, the ever optimist! My
>glass was ALWAYS half full. There was nothing that I
>could not do, all I had to do, was do it!
>
>Thats not me now, and I want ME back!
>
>But I wont go in to the miles-long list of all the
>horrible things I feel about my present person. How
>"pity party" is that!!!?!!!! Instead I am trying so
>desperatly to tell myself, convince myself, that I am
>on the road to recovery! I have taken that proverbial
>"first step" toward "mental health"! (barf!)
>
>God, I hope this works. I hope swallowing what ever
>freakin pills they have, and dumping my brains out on
>the table for these doctors to pick thru, will bring
>me back! I just want ME back again!
>
>Ok.. enough of that!! Sorry! Sometimes a girl just
>needs a good cry I think, and hey, why not at 4:00 in
>the morning!?? (I just know I am gonna kick myself in
>the ass for writing this shit!)
>
>So anyway.. wish me luck and all that stuff... and I
>am outta here!

Are you ever gonna reply to my e-mail?

And hurry up and fix me something good to eat ;)

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Replies:

Re: crazy girl seeks help -- Chahta Chito, Mon, 02/24/03 9:25am

Re: crazy girl seeks help -- chahta_ndn_girl0, Mon, 02/24/03 1:34pm