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Date Posted: Fri, 01/31/03 8:34am
Author: CaseynGeneva
Subject: Re: What's it like, having older parents?
In reply to: lagirl 's message, "What's it like, having older parents?" on Wed, 01/29/03 3:56pm

I wasn't asked, but I'm going to jump in anyway ;)

My mother was 38 when I was born, dad was 44. It was horrible. At school, everyone thought they were my grandparents. My friends heard stories of the Korean war, I heard stories about WWII and what it was like during the Depression. I was jealous of my friends who had real grandparents they could visit, especially grandparents who did things with them. Mine were already dead (with the exception of a very old grandfather I met in Denmark).

The "generation gap" in our house made it VERY difficult. Example: As a teenager in the early 70s, I was able to talk my parents into letting me go to a Deep Purple concert. At first, my mother insisted I wear a dress, hat and GLOVES -- after all, it was a "concert," and "ladies don't wear blue jeans to concerts." I was able to talk her out of the dress, but she made me wear yellow/green plaid pants and SADDLE SHOES to the concert. Do you have any idea how much I was ridiculed at that concert -- considering most of the people at the concert were high, they didn't hold back their laughter at me.

I moved out of the house at 19 (mom 57, dad 63). Throughout my childhood, I couldn't wait to get out of Chicago. I wanted to move far away but I felt obligated to live close by because they were getting older and mom was sick. I just couldn't abandon them in their old age.

I often thought if my parents had been younger when I was born, I would have had the chance to go out and live a little before having to come back to be their caregiver. Also, if my mother had been younger, she probably would not have blamed me for her illness (her symptoms appeared soon after I was born) or hated me so.

That's just my perspective.

Kathy

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