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Date Posted: 03:56:09 05/16/05 Mon
Author: jaf
Subject: class innings of compusure

Yes the sad day arrived when I discovered that Fizz was in my team of young charges for a friendly on Sunday in St Andrews. Whilst I appreciated him giving a lift to the game to important players, Pedro and Spanky, this appreciation was tempered somewhat by the ghastly realisation that he expected a game too. Oh how the next 6 hours were guaranteed to drag with his endless wittering and cheeky asides.

His pathetic throwing of the ball back to the bowler between balls almost always ended up with the shine being scuffed off the ball as it rolled or bounced along the deck.

Then a strange thing happened at tea, he was silent, quiet, there was no irritating fizz in my ear. I could not believe it and scanned the room to see if he was sitting somewhere with a plate of his favourite food silently munching his way through it but only then did I realise this silence was in fact down to the fact that he was nowhere to be seen. Yes he had skipped tea, not to psyche himself up for opening the batting but instead to eat all Souskas (?) red giant jelly babies meaning I got the sloppy seconds equivalent of orange ones . Damn.

So having yet again irritated me, where could it go from here. Well remarkably, things took a dramatic upturn. Not since buying my 21 DVD Laurel and Hardy Collection have I been so amused by the comic antics of anybody. Fizz raced onto 5 with a mixture of false shots and dropped catches. He then spent the next few over middling the ball into his own feet regularly. Then there was the assured running between the wickets, diving into the same end that another player was standing and expecting them to run all the way to the other end. Pure class innings.

It must be those blue gloves. Slazenger Liberty's arent they?

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