| Subject: Episode VIII inside. |
Author:
Lettuceleaf
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Date Posted: 16:13:53 10/24/07 Wed
Author Host/IP: 75-132-43-148.dhcp.stls.mo.charter.com/75.132.43.148
In reply to:
Lettuceleaf
's message, "Jim the Gerbil Hath Returned." on 15:37:40 10/02/07 Tue
VIII: Warfare: DDR Style!
**The CORIM, minus Gonff, Martin, and Dinny, stand around the walls of Kotir, armed to the teeth. Tsarmina stands on the battlements with her vermin troops.**
Tsarmina: state your business!
Jim: We want to fight!
Tsarmina: What will that accomplish?
Jim: We’ll free the land of the great evil that is YOU!
Tsarmina: Meh, alright. Whatever you say. Gingy! Come out here an’ fight them!
Gingevere: DON’T CALL ME THAT!!! **harrumph.** Anyhow, I can’t fight. I’m a pacifist.
Tsarmina: You’re….. a wildcat….. pacifist?
Gingevere: Yup. And if you tell anyone, I’ll beat you to a pulp.
Tsarmina: But you just said you were a ---
Gingevere: Just shut up and fight ‘em yourself!
Tsarmina: Fine! I will! Greeneye soldiers! Attack!
Bella: **Guttural roar.**
Tsarmina: 0.0 forget this. RETREAT!!!!!
Vermin: **Run away.**
Verdauga: Mooooo!
Tsarmina: >,> anyhow, I can defeat you without fighting. I challenge you…. To a Dance Dance Revolution Battle!
**Japanese music plays (No offense to them Japanesians, or whatever you call them.**
Jim: Oh, its on!
**POOF!**
** A big-screen TV appears on the Kotir grounds, complete with two DDR Dancemats. Tsarmina steps on one.**
Tsarmina: Since its my Dancemat, I’ll choose what song! **She scrolls down the song list as Jim steps onto his own Dancemat. Vensions hums through the air. The entire company is silent, holding in their breath as the putter takes to the hole. A practice swing….. he takes out the nine iron! What is tiger woods thinking?!? He goes up…. Sets the putt…. And swings! Oh, what a shot! The crowd goes wild! --**
Jim: Yo…. You changed it to the golf channel again, didn’t ya, Lettuce.
Lettuceleaf: Oops. **Presses a button on the remote.**
**Goes back to Kotir.**
Tsarmina: You’ll be dancing to…. YMCA!
**gasp!**
DDR Guy: BEGIN!
**Jim steps on a pad as a weird arrow comes up from the screen. A light goes off, and Jim’s points go off. He follows off with two splits in quick succession as Tsarmina goes at it in a flurry of movement.**
Lettuceleaf: Munches popcorn.**
Verdauga: MOOOOO!
**The competition continues. Jim does a spin and his paws land lightly on the Mat just in time to catch a ‘Perfect’. Tsarmina, on the other side of the screen, is working at her Mat profusely, sweat pouring from her. Her points go up at an alarming rate…. She seems to be winning……**
Lettuceleaf: **Leans forward and munches popcorn.**
Bella: **Guttural roar.**
**The twosome hardly make a sound as their feet prance across the Mats; arrows flash as they are scored with ‘Perfects’. The song is almost over…… so its time for a singalong! ^^**
YMCA!
Its time to go to the
YMCA!
They have everything,
That you need to enjoy!
You can hang out wid all those boys
Its time to go to the
YMCA!
**KA-BOOM!
**With a stifling suddenness, the last note lands, and both Tsarmina and Jim stop and look at the scores. It is a tie.**
Lettuceleaf: 0.0 Oh, the tension!
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Lettuceleaf: Oh. Sorry. The tension got to me for a bit there!
**anyhow. Tension sparks in the air. It is a dead tie. The only way one of the contestants could win if a nuclear reaction was suddenly created from Bella’s guttural roar and the engine of the game was glitched, making an extra note in the song, which was then struck by Jim and only Jim.**
**All of the above happens.**
Everyone: JIM WINS!
**And so, it is a victory today for the CORIM.**
WILL TSARMINA EVER GET HER DDR UN-GLITCHED?
ARE THESE QUESTIONS GETTING ANNOYING?
THEY ARE?
OH. WELL, WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST SAY SO?
STAYED TUNED FOR……EPISODE IX!
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