| Subject: Samkin: I'll get you in Pt 3 (I already had this bit written). But I'll only post more parts of parodies after ppl comment (yes, I'm shameless). Anyway............INSIDE Pt 2 |
Author:
Riv
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Date Posted: 08:58:09 02/23/08 Sat
Author Host/IP: 72-28-204-178-dhcp.jst.pa.atlanticbb.net/72.28.204.178
In reply to:
Samkin
's message, "Hilarious! Can I join? Inside." on 08:35:44 02/23/08 Sat
*Gonff is wandering forlornly in the forest when he stumbles upon an armchair randomly sitting in the middle of the forest. In the armchair is… Jack! No, not Jack Sparrow. The monkey. *
Gonff: So… monkey. You’re just sitting here… in an armchair… in the middle of Mossflower forest?
Monkey Jack: I most certainly am not. I’m sitting here, in an armchair, in the middle of Mossflower forest, eating popcorn.
Gonff: I see! Can I have some?
Monkey Jack: *monkey screech* I am disinclined to acquiesce to your proposition. It means no. My popcorn! And monkeys can’t talk. *Runs off into the forest. *
*Captain Jack Sparrow swaggers out of the forest from a different direction. He flops into the armchair and surveys the popcorn bowl. *
Jack: The popcorn’s gone. Why is the popcorn gone?
Gonff: My date didn’t go so well.
Jack: But why’s the popcorn gone!? Wait—your date. Why are you still standing? I’m very rarely still standing after a date. If the rum doesn’t get me, the girl slapping me does. Why are you still standing?
Gonff: Well, she didn’t slap me, but the date still didn’t go very well. And we didn’t have any rum.
Jack: Well there’s your problem! No rum!
Gonff: No, the rum wasn’t the problem. The problem was Columbine doesn’t like really bad eggs, and she thinks really big hats are obnoxious.
Jack: Oh dear.
Gonff: Tell me about it.
Jack: No, I’m saying oh dear because those rats behind you are much bigger than the ones in Tortuga. And Tortuga rats are quite large.
Gonff: Aah! They’re going to capture us!
Jack: Not /us/, matey, they’re going to capture /you/. I’m not from this story so technically, I don’t exist. Toodle-oo!
Gonff: Wait! You’ve got to help me! Just shoot ‘em with your gun!
Jack: What gun?
Gonff: Your gun!
Jack: I don’t have a gun. And even if I did, I wouldn’t use it because it only has one bullet and I’m not about to use it on rats.
Gonff: You do too have a gun! It’s right there, on your belt! *Gonff reaches for the gun.*
Jack: *Grabs Gonff’s wrist and whispers intensely* Look, I’m already pushing it just by being here, savvy? You can’t use the gun because I’m the one that has to deal with Midnight for using non- Redwall items. *He returns to his normal half-drunk self.* But, I do pity your situation. Here’s a ruby to bargain with; the word you want is ‘parley’.
*Jack hands the empty popcorn bowl to Gonff, folds the overstuffed armchair up and puts it in his pocket, and swaggers off into the forest, singing.*
Jack: Drink up me hearties, yo ho. We're devils and black sheep, really bad eggs,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
*Gonff stares after Jack as the rats arrest him.*
Will Jack return to aid Gonff in his time of need? Will Columbine be sad for Gonff’s fate? How did Jack fold the armchair to pocket size? WHERE DID JACK THE MONKEY GO???
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