| Subject: Ep. 2 |
Author:
Redtail
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Date Posted: 10:32:57 07/17/08 Thu
Author Host/IP: fwsm-63-124-22-193.scrms.sg.alter.net/63.124.22.193
In reply to:
Redtail, transparent, green, floating, etc.
's message, "Of Cabbages and.... and.... um...." on 17:59:54 07/15/08 Tue
Somewhere over the *whack-thump*
Matthias and Cluny seek out the great badger of wisdom...
In Salamdas... Slimdtro.... Slalalma...
Boar the Fighter: O great badgerlords, lend me your wisdom.
*sniffs special "badger herbs"*
Boar: Hoo yesh, that'sh good shtuff.... *giggles*
*dead badgers appear*
Apparitions: A mouse will come to you, seeking a sword... you must make him a sword out of a falling star...
Boar: Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'll just give him directions to a Weapons n' Things.
Apparitions: You must--
Boar: Shut up!
Bella (ghost): Hi Daddy!
Boar: Hey! You're not supposed to be dead!
Bella: Yes, but the writer of this parody got his storylines all messed up.
Apparitions: Make the sword...
Boar: Shut up!
*enter Matthias + Cluny*
Matthias: Are we interrupting something?
Cluny: Looks like a badger union meeting.
Matthias: Badger badger badger--
Cluny: Don't.
Boar: A rat! Kill it!
Cluny: I resent that.
*is flattened by seventeen badgers*
Matthias: Yo. You alright?
Cluny: Can't breathe...
Matthias: Just hold on there.
Cluny: Bright light.... bright light...
Matthias: *Force push*
*badgers go flying*
David Attenborough: And here we see the territorial behavior of the rabid Jedi mouse. Observe the mouse as it disperses the mad badgers. This behavior is quite common in Jedi mice; however this is the first time it has-- *hit by flying badger*
Five minutes later.
Cluny: I'm gonna smell like a chocobo for weeks.
Boar: What brings you here?
Matthias: We wish to learn the way of the sword. We have traveled for weeks over marsh and bog to learn your wisdom.
Boar: Way of the sword? Please.
Matthias: We have endured much hardship to learn from you.
Boar: Yeah, yeah. Quit it with the "victimized hero" act. All those wannabe adventurers always come here and pester me. It really gets annoying.
Matthias: Please, O great badger, teach us the way of the sword.
Boar: Look. Grab the sword like this, okay? Now pointy end goes in the other guy, got it?
Matthias: .... *stabs Boar in the face* Like this?
Boar: Agh, my eyes! My beautiful eyes!
Cregga: Don't worry, being blind isn't all that bad. The Blind Beast Group meetings are quite fun. We play lots of games like Marco Polo and Pin the Tail on the Donkey.
Matthias: Shut up, you. *stabs Cregga in the face*
Cregga: Agh, my eyes! My beautiful eyes!
Cluny: You're already blind, idiot.
Matthias: Let's get out of here.
And so....
Tokyo
*phone rings*
Police: Hello? Tokyo Police.
Vole: A giant robot squirrel is attacking the city with bowls of extra-hot curry!
Police: Just one second. Let me patch you into the Cataclysm Department. *hold music* This is the Cataclysm Division. how may I help you?
Vole: Robot. Squirrel. City. Curry!
TPDCD (tokyo police dept. cataclysm div.): Let's see... I'm afraid that can't be right. The robot squirrel is scheduled for next week. We've got tsunamis on Monday on Tuesday, alien invaders on Wednesday, and zombies have the rest of the week.
Vole: But the city's being destroyed!
TPDCD: The zombies have been lobbying for a full month to get a permit.
Vole: So what?! People are dying?!
TPDCD: how do I know you're telling the truth?
Vole: What do you mean---Aaagh! *splat*
TPDCD: How's about we send out a mecha to scout it out. Okay? Hello? Hello?
And now...
WILL MATTHIAS LEARN THE WAY OF THE SWORD?
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE VOLE?
WILL THE ZOMBIES FINALLY BE ABLE TO DESTROY TOKYO?
Matthias: *stab*
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