| Subject: Ep. 4! |
Author:
Redtail
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Date Posted: 22:35:10 08/02/08 Sat
Author Host/IP: 71-32-244-27.ptld.qwest.net/71.32.244.27
In reply to:
Redtail
's message, "Ep. 4 will be up in a while. Please be patient for a little longer. (^^;)" on 15:25:32 08/01/08 Fri
In the dark fortress of Galbatorix, aka Darth Ripoffus...
Galbatorix: Muahahaha! Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen... The young Rider has finally learned the true identity of his father! Hahahahahaaaa!
Mrs. Galbatorix: Galby! Time for dinner!
Galby: But honey, I'm on the midst of crushing the rebellion in a total ripoff of a hit '70s sci-fi film trilogy!
Mrs. Galby: Galbatorix, you get here right now, or else you're not getting that new golf set for Christmas.
Galby: All right, dearest.
Mrs.: There's a good evil king. And do something about that dragon, he's fouling up the place.
Shruikan: Hnnnh?
Harry Potter: *enters room* I've got you now, Voldemort! *casts spell*
Galby: Hey! *does ultimate evil king move of DOOOOOOOOM.* Dang kids, they've got no respect.
HP: Your evil will not avail you, Voldemort!
Galby: Who? I'm Galbatorix. Gal-ba-tor-ix.
HP: Not Voldemort?
Galby: Never heard of him.
HP: Well, you sure look like him... bald head, glistening pale skin, dripping fangs, glaring eyes, bad disposition...
Galby: ..... *HADOUKEN!!!*
HP: Hey! That was uncalled for, you dumb old--
Galby: *SHORYUKEN!!!*
Random hare: I say, wot wot, is this the way to Salamandastron?
Galby: *FALCON PUNCH!!!*
HP: Hey hey, old man, you need to calm down. See a therapist.
Galby: Shut up! You don't know how stressful it is to be a king! At least I don't spend my time running around with girls and redheads and making pretty lights with a stupid stick.
*Author's note: I do not have anything against females or people with red hair.*
HP: At least I don't plagiarize from epic stories from the 20th century.
Galby: Well, at least I don't go dancing with werewolves and vampires in prom dresses.
HP: ...... What the heck does that have to do with me?
Galby: Dunno. Tho' I do know it's part of some other dumb series for teenage girls with no boyfriends.
*Author's note: Again, don't mean any offense. I personally don't care much for Twilight, but that's just me.*
HP: Hey, wait a second. What's that guy doing here? *points at the author*
Redtail: Oh, I'm just avoiding writing about the fight between Matthias and the giant robotic squirrel.
HP: ........ Crazy squirrel. Kill him.
Galby: KAMEHAMEHA!!!!
Redtail: Waaaaaagh! *goes spinning off into the sky with a tiny flash*
Meanwhile, after the gigantic sixteen-ton whopping hell of a non sequitur, totally random intro....
In Tokyo...
Matthias: Geez, he's finally back.
Cluny: Man, we've been waiting here for like a week. Get on with the action.
Matthias: Where were we? Oh yeah. *clears throat* Bracelet of power!!!!!!
Frodo: Gimmee!
Matthias: I said NO! *smashes him to oblivion*
Random LOTR fan: No! No! Frodo lives! Frodo LIVES, I say!
Matthias: Quiet, you. *stab* Bracelet of power, goo! I summon, Gulo, the giant furry guy from the north who's name is a total ripoff of the scientific classification of a wolverine!!! *goes blue in the face*
*A low rumble echoes across the street.*
Gulo: Rooooooooaaaaaaar!!!!!!*appears in a pathetic puff of smoke and pink glitter.* Whooooosh! Whaaaa! Graaaaar! Wooooo! Whooomph!
Cluny: *kicks him* Yo. The effects are over.
Gulo: Whoops. Got carried away. Hey, why is it all pink?! I said PUICE, you idiots, PUICE!
Cluny: *double special kung-fu rat kick* Enough. Go kick the squirrel's--
Strange hedgehog: *whacks author* No adult language on DAB!
Redtail: Yes, ma'am... again...
Gulo: You dare to attack the mighty Gulo?!!!! Prepare to die! Raaaaarrr.... oh whatever.... *sits down*
Cluny: What's the matter? Aren't you the great Gulo the Savage who eats his enemies?
Gulo: I'm a vegetarian now. And a pacifist. I don't condone violent activities just to spite people. My therapist says I need to work on adjusting my diet so I stop being stressed out.
Cluny: Just kill the giant robot squirrel, will you?!
Gulo: I just said I'm a vegetarian.
Cluny: It's metal, you idiot! METAL! *whacks Gulo violently upside the head several times*
Gulo: Raaaaargh! Gulo..... MAAAAD! *launches himself at squirrel*
*Dramatic music.........*
Gulo: *gets stomped on violently by the robotic squirrel* Urk... medic.... rez pl0x.....
Matthias: Well, that went well. Bracelet of power!!! I summon Boar the Fighter!
Robotic Squirrel: *stomp*
Matthias: Charizard! *stomp* Pikachu! *stomp* Bahamut! *stomp* Illidan! *stomp* Arthas! *stomp* Aargh... Sephiroth!
Sephy: *poof* Yes! Yes! I'm alive again! Alive! Muahahahahaaaa! I am resurrected yet again! Prepare to die, Cloud! Hey, where--
Robotic Squirrel: *stompitty-stomp-stomp*
Matthias: I shall take you down with the might of Martin's sword! Yaaaargh! *charges*
Martin's sword: Pink! *shatters*
Matthias: What? Noooo! Nooo! I want my sword! I want my sword! *throws a hissy fit*
Robotic squirrel: (whatever sound a robotic squirrel makes when laughing) *moves to stomp Matthias*
Cluny: Hey! Yo, squirrel! Is that a giant metal acorn I spot in the Akihabara district?
Robotic squirrel: (whatever sound a hungry/excited robotic squirrel makes) *rushes off*
Cluny: And the handsome rat saves the day!
*The Joker pops up in the street*
Joker: Aargh *twitch* you.... *twitch* defeated my.... *twitch* squirrel.... curse you, you cute fuzzy mice...
Cluny: Rat.
Matthias: Who's the freak?
Joker: I'm not.... *twitch* a freak... Mummy always said I was a good boy....
Cluny: Didn't your mother take a knife to your face?
Joke: No... *twitch* That was Daddy... *twitch* Mummy's the one who sold me to the Mafia...
*Author's note: Okay, the twitching is getting really annoying to type. Just imagine that he's perpetually twitching from now on.*
Matthias: Whatever. Let's go. I wanna get some sushi.
Joker: Heh heh heh.... heh heh heh heh.... ha ha ha.... hoo hoo hee hee hoo ha.... heh.. eheh... heh.... Not so fast.... You won't be getting away that easily... I summmon you, my Amish gang!
Matthias: Amish gang...?
Joker: Heh... heh heh heh... ha ha.... That's right, my Amish gang... They already had the black suits... all I needed to do was tilt the hat a little.
Amish gangmember 1: Yo, what up, mice?
Gangmember 2: Amish fo' life, man.
Gangmember 3: Amen.
Strange hedgehog: I said, no adult content on DAB! And no religious jokes on DAB! *thwackity-whack-whack*
Redtail: Ow! Ow! Sorry, sorry! *kowtows*
*Gangmembers immediately turn into flying pink piglets*
Piglet 1: Oink.
Piglet 2: Oink oink ooooink oink!
Piglet 3: Oink *snort* oink.
Joker: Muahahaaa! Beware my as-of-late-transformed-into-piglets Amish gangmembers! Hahahahahahahaha!
Cluny: You're gonna ruin your voice, doing that.
WILL THE MICE--
Cluny: RAT!
WILL THE MOUSE AND RAT SURVIVE THE WRATH OF AMISH-TURNED-PIGLET GANG?
WHAT HAPPENED TO GALBY AND HP?!
Galby: My book's better!
HP: No, mine!
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GIANT SQUIRREL???!!!!!
FIND OUT NEXT TIME!!!!
Redtail: When I feel like it.
Strange hedgehog: *whack*
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