Re: A Sonnet -- Unicorn

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Date Posted: 12:14:24 08/25/02 Sun
Author: Richard Blake
Author Host/IP: h-64-105-255-30.HSTQTX02.covad.net / 64.105.255.30
Subject: Re: A Sonnet
In reply to: AAAAGGGSSS 's message, "Re: A Sonnet" on 20:44:42 08/12/02 Mon

Thanks for your comments, Al. I, however, was not exactly going for what you assumed. You see, the idea was not, "If I could do this...then I'd do this..." It was more like, "If I could do this...even then they wouldn't see it fully displayed like I do." So I talked about her affects on me--such as her glimpses bringing me bliss, and so forth, and never really covered much how she look, except for when I delve into it a little bit with the part about her features, fingers and countanence and stuff. And that's not even really point. Saying IF I could do it, and then going onto do it would be sort of pointless, so I stuff when my format of "If I could do all this, then even then..." Er, I'm rambling, I think. Thanks again for your comments.

>Hi Rich
>
>Well you certainly have written some interesting verse
>here, but to be straight forward there are like tons
>of gaps, hehe smiles. The thing I had about this poem
>although it was lovely and all and I'm sure you tried
>to make it lovely, was that it k inda, sorta lacked
>substanced regarding the thing of beauty itself. You
>had alot of of If I could do this, and If I could do
>that, but you never got right down to saying what you
>would do -
>
>
>If I could write with beauty such as this:
>To wield my verse into a certain mold,
>And illustrate the loveliness thou holdst
>With each enchanting glimpse that yields me bliss
>And ev'ry spoken word formed by thy lips;
>
>ok, now above, you can write the beauty, to can wield
>the verse, (to illustrate), but what xactly would you
>do ??
>
>If I would wax poetic skillfully,
>And somehow tell the elegance of thee,
>As well as warrant fair thy fingertips--
>Then, even in my pictures painted bright,
>
>you hint at that the girl has elegance, and nice
>fingertips, but you seem lost in the cosmos about her,
>and I'm simpy can't surmise that is it, that she sends
>you out there.
>
>Thy full display of charm they would not see;
>For all the words and colors of this earth
>Could not express the splendorous fresh light
>That shines from off thy countenance to me,
>Like as the sun reflects upon a firth.
>
>I think it was really excellent in terms of the first
>part, but it would have been better if you had gotten
>down to concrete examples of the thing of beauty
>itself, it could have used a little more about her,
>Just my opinion of course, but that's how I read it,
>hehe smiles

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