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Date Posted: 15:42:17 06/11/02 Tue
Author: Raphaela
Author Host/IP: webcacheM07b.cache.pol.co.uk / 195.92.194.17
Subject: Re: Begins To Rise ~ mild adult
In reply to: SuSanne 's message, "Begins To Rise ~ mild adult" on 08:08:54 06/10/02 Mon

An interesting metaphor, conjured up a variety of images from penknives to sabres.

Sensual and subtle, leaving the reader like a voyeur wanting more.

Not sure about the word 'epidermis' - perhaps could use skin or suitable imagery to convey point in style you have chosen.

Look forward to the rest.

Raphaela



>

>BEGINS TO RISE
>
>
>We realized without any speech
>Needed,
>For a long awaited shine
>Of our special first time
>Was now here, to be gone.
>
>As midnight of silk
>Whispered off my shoulders
>To perch on a rosy hues
>Causing us both, to smolder.
>
>Electric thoughts
>Spark bodies tension
>To release our hands
>Free of pretensions.
>
>Our full mouths meet
>To bud the rose
>Tasting ever so sweet
>As love's sword, begins to rise.
>
>Slashing all garments free
>To gather in a pile
>While epidermis explores
>Amidst laughter and smiles.
>
>Before sinking into one
>The closest we humans can get
>While anchored on a bed
>Soaring to the stars .. as if a set.
>
>
>© SuSanne &*_*&

>
>9.6.02~smb.powell
>All rights reserved
>
>Thanks for great inspiration
>also, on this board!!!
>


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