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Date Posted: 09:54:04 06/15/02 Sat
Author: sp99
Author Host/IP: pool-63.53.97.110.nwrk.grid.net / 63.53.97.110
Subject: Re: Begins To Rise ~ new version
In reply to: Raphaela 's message, "Re: Begins To Rise ~ mild adult" on 15:42:17 06/11/02 Tue

>an interesting metaphor, conjured up a variety of images >from penknives to sabres.

>Sensual and subtle, leaving the reader like a voyeur >wanting more.

>Not sure about the word 'epidermis' - perhaps could use >skin or suitable imagery to convey point in style you
>have chosen.

>Look forward to the rest. Raphaela

Funny Raphaela, I also wondered about 'epidermis' so I
thought about it and below is what I came up with, I
thank you much for your comment, hope you like the new
version?;-p SuSanne


BEGINS TO RISE


We realized without speech
Needed,
For a long awaited shine
Of our special first time
Was now here, to be gone.

As midnight of silk
Whispered off my shoulders
To perch on a rosy hues
Causing us both, to smolder.

Electric thoughts
Spark bodies tension
To release our hands
Free of pretensions.

Our full mouths meet
To bud the rose
Tasting ever so sweet
As love's sword, begins to rise.

Slashing all garments free
To gather in a pile
While different skins explores,
Amidst laughter and smiles.

Before sinking into one
Of closest we humans can get
While anchored on a bed
Soaring to the stars .. as in a set.


© SuSanne &*_*&


9.6.02~smb.powell
slight revise 13.6.02
All rights reserved



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