| Subject: A conversation with Caroline, dated 5/23/00. |
Author:
Jocko
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Date Posted: 12:38:50 01/18/01 Thu
carolinestevens: never said we had a deal. just said what i said to you. if you want me to stop messaging you, you stop posting about me
j0cko: fuck off. Don't contact me.
carolinestevens: well, if you don't post about me I won't contact you . But I guess that is to hard for you to understand, isn't it?
j0cko: I said do not contact me. No deals, no terms.
carolinestevens: same goes here
j0cko: fuck off. Do not contact me.
carolinestevens: awww...is that the only thing you can say?
j0cko: silence, cunt.
carolinestevens: not cuz you say so
j0cko: fuck off, do not contact me.
carolinestevens: sure, when you stop posting shit about me i will stop contacting you
j0cko: I will continue as I see fit. You cannot stop me. Now stop responding.
carolinestevens: Not until you say you stop on the board
j0cko: Then I guess never.
j0cko: Now shut up.
carolinestevens: Make me
j0cko: I can't make you. But you will accept all the shit I put on the board about you. And like it.
carolinestevens: Who says I will like it? You would do that even if I didnt contact you anyways
j0cko: Caroline, I have had a request from another board regular. Do you have time for a full session today?
j0cko: answer up, bitch.
carolinestevens: you need counciling?
j0cko: no, I would like to have a "counseling" session for you.
j0cko: Illiterate twat.
j0cko: so may I pose a personal question?
carolinestevens: Why do you ask when you will do it anyways?
j0cko: You have the power to stop this any time you want. YOU CONTACTED ME. Just stop respondonding, and it ends. But you won't since you're so damned dumb. Watch!
j0cko: 3..
j0cko: 2...
j0cko: 1...
carolinestevens: Oh yeah, right
j0cko: Thanks again. We've already established you fucking stupid you are, but someone asked me to explore another issue with you.
carolinestevens: I am sure they did
j0cko: Are you so bitchy, because you're stupid? Do you feel cheated by life?
j0cko: or, as this person suggests, are you so bitchy because you are a repressed virgin?
carolinestevens: I am usually not bitchy at all. Just when I deal with shitheads like you
j0cko: So your virginity angers you when confronted by a man you can't have.
j0cko: ...which is everyone except Sammi.
carolinestevens: in your dreams
j0cko: au contraire, mon bitchy turtle poop. I believe you are an angry virgin.
carolinestevens: I am not angry, and i sure as hell ain't no virgin
j0cko: otherwise you wouldn't have to travel to America to get laid.
j0cko: Oh, I think it's clear you are.
carolinestevens: I don't have to. It is a choice I make myself. I can get laid here too
j0cko: Assuming I can take you at your word, what kind of evidence can you rpoduce?
j0cko: er, produce
j0cko: Did that question offend you, I hope?
j0cko: I maintain that you are a virgin, and your diminutive silence only supports that theory. Now come on, I'm not asking for video here!
carolinestevens: Evidence? YOu are sick.
carolinestevens: I don't have to prove anything to you
carolinestevens: Nope, it didnt
j0cko: So you ARE a virgin.
carolinestevens: Ok, then tell me. How can I prove that to you?
j0cko: ..or a lesbian? A virgin lesbian, perhaps?
carolinestevens: that I am NOT
j0cko: Ok, let me get my lab jacket on... there. Now where is that clipboard? Ah. Now, let's begin the session. Dr. Jocko is in da house.
j0cko: ok, we'll begin with some situational questions. See if you are familiar with the environment of intimacy.
j0cko: Let me know when you are comfortable and ready to begin.
carolinestevens: Go head. I cant stop you
j0cko: I already told you, this can end any time you stop responding. But you're too dumb and attention-starved to quit. It's a drug to you. I'm exploiting your moronic stupidity for the entertainment of others.
j0cko: But that's neither here nor there. Shall we begin, or have you grown a brain?
carolinestevens: fuck you
j0cko: can I take that as a yes? Is that Swedish for "pay attention to me"?
carolinestevens: I thought you knew english, but i guess not.
j0cko: Subject's uncooperative attitude indicates a growing awareness of its situation as object of ridicule.
j0cko: Ok, let's begin. You assert you are NOT a frustrated virgin. Correct?
carolinestevens: you heard me earlier
j0cko: Please, for the record. Humor me. You claim you are NOT a virgin.
j0cko: correct?
carolinestevens: I would like to turn that question over to you
carolinestevens: are u a frustrated virgin?
j0cko: Subject's unusally long response time may indicate an attempt to concoct a cover story.
j0cko: Look, cunt. I'm the scientist here.
carolinestevens: I don't think so
j0cko: so sit the fuck down and answer the question. You claim you are not a virgin.
j0cko: ...yeah, right. I'm not buying that one. And diddling yourself with whatever Swedish vegetables you can lay your hands on doesn't count.
carolinestevens: I answer if you answer me
j0cko: yep, you're a SERIOUS virgin. Why not become a bitchy nun, so you can turn it into a paying proposition.
j0cko: (sigh) well, back to the prepared questions. Ready?
carolinestevens: I am as much of a virgin as you are
j0cko: Subject's evasive answer indicates a non-understanding of the term "virgin."
j0cko: Let me re-phrase it for you. Ever been fucked?
carolinestevens: Have you?
j0cko: schtupped?
j0cko: banged?
j0cko: laid?
j0cko: knocked boots?
carolinestevens: Have you?
j0cko: ANY of this getting through?
carolinestevens: I answered you with a question back
carolinestevens: Have you?
j0cko: Subject does not understand the question. Attempting to reverse question to hide her embarrassment.
carolinestevens: Yeah...right. You wish
j0cko: Caroline, please define the term "virgin."
carolinestevens: YOu want me to explain it to you so you can tell your friends what it is ?
j0cko: if you wish, you can think that. For the sake of science, yes, that is why I want to know.
carolinestevens: Ok, just ask them to look at you . A pathetic little creature that never has had sex with anyone
j0cko: Ok then. Please tell me how many male partners you have had.
carolinestevens: I have had my share. how many is none of your businesse
j0cko: Can't count that high?
carolinestevens: Explain something to me ok
j0cko: no. I cannot explain anything to you, that's clear
j0cko: How many men have you had?
j0cko: Subject is puzzled by the enigma that is the concept of zero.
carolinestevens: answer this question first
carolinestevens: first you say i am a virgin and then you say i have had so many men that i cant keep track? make up your damn mind
j0cko: Please, give me a range.
j0cko: A)1-5
j0cko: B)6-15
j0cko: c)16-50
j0cko: D)51 +
j0cko: No exact figures necessary. Happy now?
carolinestevens: abc
j0cko: You're adding them? That gives me 70.
carolinestevens: No I am not adding them
j0cko: well, which one is correct?
carolinestevens: c
j0cko: OK, thank you.
carolinestevens: and u?
j0cko: Now, how many women have you been intimate with?
j0cko: A)1-5
j0cko: B)6-15
j0cko: C)16-50
j0cko: D)51 +
carolinestevens: 0
j0cko: letter O is not an option.
carolinestevens: none
j0cko: ...are you sure?
carolinestevens: of course i am. how many men have you been intimate with?
j0cko: you strike me as aone of those bitchy dykes with an axe to grind. But I could be mistake.
j0cko: er, mistaken.
j0cko: Question 3...
carolinestevens: answer me
j0cko: Do you own a vibrator, dildo, or other marital aid?
carolinestevens: answer me
j0cko: No. Do you own a vibrator?
carolinestevens: DO you?
j0cko: ...hey, wait a minute. You wern't counting dildos as MEN, were you?
j0cko: those are a different category.
carolinestevens: Why would I need those things?
j0cko: Hmm... good point. But it doesn't answer the question. Do you?
carolinestevens: Oh, I think it answers the question
j0cko: If you WERE to obtain a dildo, would you prefer one that is smooth, or one with simulated veins and such?
carolinestevens: I would never obtain one. so no need to ask that
j0cko: I disagree. Given a choice, would you prefer a smooth one, or a life-like one?
carolinestevens: guess
j0cko: No guessing in science, my dear. You like em veiny or smooth?
carolinestevens: I don't like dildos at all
j0cko: How do you know you don't like dildos?
j0cko: Has a partner ever used a dildo in you?
carolinestevens: I just know it.
carolinestevens: maybe
j0cko: Unacceptable answer.
carolinestevens: none of your businesse
j0cko: Ahh... I get it. Have you ever lost a vibrator up inside you?
carolinestevens: Have you?
j0cko: is it perhaps still there, buzzing around? Is that what mkes you so irritable?
carolinestevens: get real
j0cko: Subject's defensive posture indicates a DIRECT HIT.
j0cko: Damn, how long can those batteries last?
carolinestevens: That was NOT a direct hit, far from it
j0cko: So, was it a vibrator or a dildo that got stuck in you?
carolinestevens: none of the above
j0cko: So what DID you lose up there?
j0cko: a Volvo?
carolinestevens: I didnt lose anything. But you lost your mind
carolinestevens: ...somewhere
j0cko: Subject's sense of humor is flagging. Indicates self-conscious doubts.
j0cko: OK, moving on.
j0cko: Ever had sex with an animal? Please don't respond with "have YOU?"
carolinestevens: Oh, so you don't want to talk about it huh? I can understand that
j0cko: Finish this sentence, please:
carolinestevens: and of course I have. All men are pigs
j0cko: "Boy, swedish men aren't hung like that _______ in the barnyard."
j0cko: All men are pigs? I think you got some bad advice someplace.
carolinestevens: ok, not all men, but most
j0cko: please complete the senctence.
carolinestevens: No
j0cko: A) donkey
j0cko: B) bull
j0cko: C) Horse
j0cko: D) Sammi
carolinestevens: Jocko
j0cko: This is multiple choice, you dumb twat.
carolinestevens: I answer what i want
carolinestevens: ..to answer
j0cko: So, were you aroused by the picture of the rottweiler humping you?
j0cko: Do you crave doggie dick?
carolinestevens: No, but I am sure you were
j0cko: Please, I'm not the subject here. You were NOT aroused by the picture then.
j0cko: correct?
carolinestevens: I was not aroused, but you were
j0cko: Whatever.
carolinestevens: wow, at least you admit it
j0cko: Now, would you have been aroused if a Golden Retriever was pictured instead?
carolinestevens: Would you be happier if you had a brain?
j0cko: How about an Irish Setter?
j0cko: Dachshund?
j0cko: I'll bet you're the HUSKY type.
j0cko: Subject's lame attempt to insult the scientist is putting me to sleep.
carolinestevens: oh good. finally
j0cko: So you would say you are not sexually attracted to animals?
carolinestevens: NO, I am not
j0cko: are animals sexually attracted to you?
carolinestevens: how will I know?
j0cko: oh, you'd know.
j0cko: I'll take that as a no.
j0cko: OK, next. Do you shave your pubic area?
j0cko: not bikini-waxing, but SHAVE.
carolinestevens: You would really like to know that, don't you?
j0cko: Science must know.
carolinestevens: not relevant
j0cko: I'll take that as a yes.
j0cko: Do men like you better shaved?
carolinestevens: ask them
carolinestevens: how much longer are u gonna go on?
j0cko: (I mean your pubic area, not your gross face)
j0cko: As long as you keep responding, dummy!
j0cko: Don't worry, I won't post this.
carolinestevens: yeah right
j0cko: Trust me.
carolinestevens: LMFSAO
j0cko: Oh, those others were published accidentally by an over-eager colleague of mine.
carolinestevens: yeah right. just like this one will be I am sure
j0cko: So you shave. Excellent.
j0cko: Are you pierced?
j0cko: nipples, clit, etc.
carolinestevens: Nope. only got my tatooe on the arm
j0cko: Are you aroused by this line of questioning?
carolinestevens: no
j0cko: I think you are.
carolinestevens: i am not, but you are
j0cko: I think that dildo you "DON'T" own is working right now.
j0cko: maybe if you're lucky you can fish out that eggplant that got wedged up there.
carolinestevens: Well, you are thinking wrong
carolinestevens: Now go fuck your buddy buzz
j0cko: I disagree. I think you've got you little swedish panties in a twist right now.
carolinestevens: you can think whatever you like
j0cko: Please check your nipples. For science, I mean.
j0cko: ...they are the mosquio bite-sized bumps on your flat chest.
j0cko: are you checking? Or still trying to find them?
carolinestevens: are u pathetic, or just stupid?
j0cko: Please report on the condition of your nipples. The publis has a right to know.
carolinestevens: no comment
j0cko: Subject unable to locate own nipples. This may be reflective of "How stupid is Caroline?"
carolinestevens: OH I can find them alright
j0cko: Oh? And what state are they in?
carolinestevens: quite hard to miss
j0cko: ..I mean what condition.
j0cko: Sure, hard to miss. Like a roadsign on a flat highway.
carolinestevens: same condition as always when i am talking to a creep like you
j0cko: erect and flushed, correct?
carolinestevens: nope
j0cko: ok, then , how ARE they?
carolinestevens: Now fuck off. My class has started now
j0cko: Wait! I need you to count the hairs on your ass for me.
carolinestevens: count your own
j0cko: yep, you're off to the ladies room for an appointment with a hairbrush handle.
j0cko: You may need to get a friend to count your ass hair. And a calculator.
carolinestevens: didnt i just tell you to shut up?
j0cko: I believe you did. So what? HOW HAIRY IS YOUR ASS, VIRGIN?
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