| Subject: Hey |
Author:
James
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Date Posted: Monday, June 02 2003, 15:58:03 GMT ( - 8 )
Just thought I'd post an update, if anyone's interested!
So many things have been happening - scary but exciting. First up, I now only have 3 weeks of term left before I go home - so time is running out to find a boyfriend!
Thank god work is slack this term, so I have time to go out like every night pretty much - just round to people's rooms for mini-parties for the most part, but lots of late nights! So I've seen Russel more, and I'm getting to know him a bit better - even been round his room with mutual friends and I'm pretty much talking to him whenever I see him now. GOD! He is SOOO cute!!! But the thing is - he KNOWS he's cute (like, professional model cute), and he plays up to it (lol he plucks his eyebrows!!!!!).
But here's the cool news....we had our room allocation for next (academic) year - I was pretty sure I'd end up nowhere near anyone I knew... but as it turned out, EVERYONE i know is nearby - like, along my corridor! INCLUDING RUSSEL!! He's going to be right next door to one of my best friends down the hall! So i'll probably see him like everyday pretty much, instead of about twice a week at the moment.
But I've sorta come to a decision...I'm NOT going to "go after" Russel this term. We don't have enough time for a serious relationship to develop (if any did!), and anyway after this term is the long break (12 weeks!!) which could be the kiss of death - and at the moment I want experience and I wannit now!! A gay friend of mine introduced me to a cute guy the other night, and I'm going to try to get to know him a little better. With him it would be more physical i think...but nothing wrong with that!!lol Then I'd have more time next year for something special with Russel perhaps... I just don't want to waste my life chasing a guy who has a reputation for being a bit of a teaser when it comes to relationships (so i've heard!). lol if i were being particularly crude I'd say it was like finding a new job - so much easier when you're in a job already - noone wants to hire you if your'e out of work...but I won't! i would never have a relationship with someone else just to make him jealous - like you said ed, mind games are bad and just not worth it.
Apart from this, i'm so much more open with my friends (esp the ones who know i'm gay). It's like slowly a burden is coming off - and the real me is emerging bit by bit. I can feel myself getting more confident bit by bit - which I haven't felt for a couple of years (since I left school for college). After you've talked to people about your innermost thoughts and emotions, I guess you're bound to feel a lot closer..it's cool! So thats the longer than intended version.... sorry!
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