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Date Posted: 17:02:53 05/18/08 Sun
Author: OTWB
Subject: How should Starr be "punished" for having unprotected sex with Coal?

I'm serious, I keep seeing people outraged because Starr and Cole are getting a "free pass" and Todd's taking such terrible hits. People are angry because Blair isn't as angry as they think she should be.

I have a daughter and that would have been my worst nightmare. I was thinking about it this afternoon. When my daughter was 16, I took her to see KDP sing at Western Kentucky University. She hooked up with Tonya's daughter who was maybe a year younger. They ran the mall, thought they were ooo la la big girls for being allowed to walk the mall without us pesky mom's watching over them like hawks. They traded outfits, and giggled a lot.

Pregnant? Shiver!!!! I started harping at her when she was about 12. I did everything but beg her to NEVER do that, but if she did.. yada, yada, yada. I didn't want that for her. Having a baby is rough business. Having a baby when you're 16 is even rougher business.

So, because Starr's dad acted like we all knew he would, her parent's marriage is over. She lived for a week or so thinking she'd never see her family again, whom she loves dearly. She's spent her life worshipping her father and he damned near kills her in a fit of blind rage at her boyfriend. She's going to be home and safe but, she hasn't been "punished" or held responsible. So, how should she be punished? Its obviously been a piece of cake so far.

I really wanna know. I'd ask about Cole's punishment, but I don't care. He's Nora's problem, sent to military school until he gets his PHD works for me. Nope, not kidding.

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[> Starr is not the first 16 year to get pregnant. Just look at Jamie Lynn Spears. I personally did not have sex at 16, but a few of my friends did, and one even got pregnant . I do not want to see Starr punished, god knows, Todd has done a great job in that department, but I want Blair to make Starr understand her decision has consequences, and Starr is not going to have the life of a normal teenager because Starr is going to be too busy being a mom, and she has responsibility to that little baby. I want Blair to give Starr a reality check because right now Starr is living in a dream world. -- lucy, 17:22:40 05/18/08 Sun

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[> [> I agree with lucy. It's a little late for "punishment" at this point. All I want is for Blair to sit down and force Starr to face the reality fo the situation and the fact that now that she's pregnant, she'll have to start taking on adult responsibilities. I want Blair to make her see that what she did has real life consequences, and that everything isn't sweetness and light. -- Cathy, 00:10:02 05/19/08 Mon

Starr cannot "escape" or be protected from the consequences of her actions. We all have to face the consequences of our actions and the fact is that it was Starr, not Todd, who chose to have unprotected sex that night. No more Daddy's little girl. She'll have to grow up fast now, and I want Blair to force her to face that.

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[> [> [> ETA: bottom line from me is that I want to see these kids being forced to face reality and words ABOUT reality from the adults instead of riding bumper cars and winning frogs and cooing over flowers and being told their greatest crime was falling in love. -- Cathy, 00:31:05 05/19/08 Mon

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[> That's what I wanna know.... HOW exactly does one punishes someone for having sex... unprotected or otherwise? It's not like if they used a condom THIS would have never happend... -- Sluva, 18:09:36 05/18/08 Sun

Should Blair be screaming at her? Humiliating her? Jabbing her? Mocking her? Lecturing her? What exactly can anyone say to that girl that she hasn't figured out all ready? I don't understand this "taking responsibility" I keep reading.. what is she suppose to do flagellate herself until she's learned her lesson....Starr is now living with the obvious consequences her mistake she knows....unprotected sex is playing Russian Roulette with your life, your life style, possibly your whole future! I don't see her looking to blame anyone else for what she and her little boyfriend did.

What exactly is this free pass that she is getting? Should her Mama shake her? Kick her out? Stop speaking to her? Scorn her? Shame her until she can turn back time and undo what she did? Make her wear a sign that says..

"I had sex with a dope and he didn't wear a condom?"
"My father is a ball grabbing freak and it's my fault"
"I destroyed my family because I had sex with my boyfriend"
"I made my father crazy and now he beats on kids because I had sex with my boyfriend"
"I'm sixteen, I had sex with my boyfriend...I'm a sinner!!!!"
"Sorry.. I destroyed my family because I let Cole Thornheart touch my secret place"
"My father is a rapist.. my mother is a crazy.. I'm sixteen and pregnant.. I'm so sorry!"

Kids are going to F up that is what they do. The parents are suppose to know that and they are suppose to keep it together and sort thing out and make it bearable for eveyone...not make thing insufferably worse by being certifiably stupid over and over and over again.

Unless of course I am misunderstanding what free pass and taking responsibility means in this instance. Because if Starr is supposed to somehow blame herself for her family imploding YET AGAIN.. I can't and will not get down that. If Starr isn't suppose to blame anyone for her poor choices then I sure as hell don't want to hear grown folks who fancy themselves when it suits them.. "Benevolent Head of Family" but who are really Obtuse Malevolent Dictators as soon as they don't get their way.... try to pass the buck. I know Blair has been a doormat and Todd's kind of stupid is to the bone but no one is forcing them to stay that way.

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[> [> I agree, it is not Starr's fault that Todd went bat shit crazy, Todd has no one to blame for the demise of his happy family life, but himself. He is an adult who acted like a kid. There is no excuse for his behavior. Starr is a kid, and like a kid, she really does not understand the reality of being a mom. However, she will have Blair and the rest of the Cramer women to support her which will be very important. -- lucy, 19:18:02 05/18/08 Sun

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[> [> [> I'm thinking if she carries this baby to term, she's gonna get it in spades. I'm thinking its already started to dawn on her. She's a bright girl, she may not like it but she pretty much knows what happens next, Her reality check had her puking and begging for her mother yesterday. -- OTWB, 19:25:51 05/18/08 Sun

Soon, she'll get fat, he ankles will swell. She'll probably have vivid nightmares, strange food cravings, gas, indigestion... Oh yeah and all those pretty clothes? Oh well, they won't fit, but Auntie Dorian will go to Omar the tentmaker and have something done that'll fit like a glove.

If you're going to carry a baby, you better want it, cuz the only thing that gets you thru it, is the thought that you're going to have a beautiful baby, beloved by you and your... 18 year old husband with no discernable job skills who plays a mean game of football.

Pregnancy is its own reality check, IMHO.

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[> [> ITA..Sometimes the best way for kids to learn is to live and understand it for themselve. When I was a kid they called it "The Hard Way". Nothing Blair will can or will say will MAKE Starr see more then the reality she is already living. She is sixteen and she's pregnant she knows it she knows how she got that way... that is her reality. Maybe now when grown up talk she will be more apt to listen. -- sluva, 03:23:44 05/19/08 Mon

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[> [> But but...if they'd used a condom, this probably WOULD never have happened. None of this. -- Cathy, 04:44:33 05/19/08 Mon

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[> [> [> Key word being.... Probably... -- sluva, 05:24:54 05/19/08 Mon

it happens to lots of people who use condoms... birth control and other forms of contraceptives... She had sex and she got pregnant...them the breaks.

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[> [> [> [> Re: I wish it had played that way -- that they used a condom and it broke. That would have made more since since not until this incident has Starr been portrayed as so incredibly clueless and frankly, stupid. -- Cathy, 06:15:42 05/19/08 Mon

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[> [> [> [> [> duh - that should say - that would have made more SENSE (not since) -- Cathy, 08:07:16 05/19/08 Mon

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[> [> [> I got pregnant with my daughter while on the pill... Nope, I didn't miss one either. My md decided I didn't need to know that tetracycline counteracted my BC pills. Two babies, two years. Ya think I did that on purpose? They're great kids, I don't regret it... but rough business and I didn't go asking for it. -- OTWB, 13:07:54 05/19/08 Mon

Condoms aren't 100% either. I wish they would have at least made an attempt at birth control, but all they can do it buck up and move forward at this point.

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[> My thoughts.. -- tonya, 03:26:43 05/19/08 Mon

I would love for Blair to sit down with Starr and in a loving no attacking way talk to her about how this will really change her life, but also letting her know she will be there for her every step of the way With every decision Starr makes from this point on.. it won't be about her, but about her child. While her fiends are out on Friday night she will be home playing Mom.. maybe with Cole, but that is not how it usually happens in real life or in soaps. While her friends are out spending the night and shopping for ring tones she will be home changing diapers. I hope she realizes she should have waited but she is pregnant now. That will not change unless she loses the baby. There is no need for put downs and punishment. I hope when the baby is born that Starr, Blair, Cole, and Todd all look at this as a blessing not a horrible mistake.

Liz, Andrea is in college now and making amazing grades! We still talk about that trip sometimes and wonder how Heather is. Andrea turned out to be such an amazing person and I have always talked very openly to her about sex and getting an education before she starts a family. The only way to not get pregnant is to NOT HAVE SEX. We were tested through her teen years but through it all we talked it through and Andrea made the right decisions.

If she were to end up pregnant, now or if she had as a teen.. I would have been very sad.. for her loss of the freedom to be a care free... for the hardshiops it would most likely made. But when they are pregnant it is too late to do the talking or to punish them. You just have to show them and the baby unconditional love. I hope that is what Blair does...

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[> [> Those two OWNED cute, that weekend. -- OTWB, 13:26:05 05/19/08 Mon

I'm so happy for Andrea and I know you're proud. She's a cutie and so sweet. I think Heather's done with school, for now... LOL a few credits short of graduation, but she's working two jobs one good, one for fun money and living on her own. I'm proud, she's still marching to her own drummer and from what I saw when I was home last September, she's making very good decisions. I couldn't ask for more. I think she'll go back to school she was just burnt on it. Two jobs to live on her own and pay for full time school=no life. I think she had too much going on and she's not giving up the bucks and she refuses to take them from me or her dad. She's a ver independent young lady.

I saw the potential in both of them that weekend, nice to know they're still on the right road. I guess we all did good.

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