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Subject: Physick 'n food Ballad


Author:
Ikur Maetil
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Date Posted: 02:41:58 02/05/06 Sun

I sing of the tale of Sorla Noor
Whose ears were long as the grass on the moor.
He had a hunger but no food,
So he raided the kitchens to lighten his mood,
Well he met the Friar who was keeping ovens warm
And he gave starving Sorla a fresh warm bun.
Well that helped a wee bit, but Hares aren't little Mice,
So he yelled, "a blinkin' puddin would be really nice!"
Well the Friar, he was sleepy, this made 'im a wee bit rude,
So e' didn't gave Sorla, his right due food.
Now Sorla's stomach rumbled loud, and his voice rumbled louder;
"I'll pop ye' in the oven and turn you into chowder!"
Just then, walked in Sister Salpurse,
The old Infirminary Nurse.
She saw th' hungry Hare, and the Friar, cow'rin like a cake,
But her apperance made them both their foolish quarrel, soon forsake.
She proved to be a diplomat, "I know just wa' to do,"
"Follow me to my room, and I'll fix ye' up like new,"
The Hare and Friar exchanged nervous looks, but with her they went.
Coming to the room, they entered, to see Sister Salpurse open a window to act as a vent.
She settled them down on the soft Infirminary beds,
glad for the chance to rest ther heads.
Said Sister Salpurse, " I have a tip, for those who with hunger are sick,"
Fill 'em full of Physick! That will do the trick!"
Full of fear, Sorla and the Friar started to stand,
But the Sister held them down with a strong, firm hand.
Realizing they could be trouble, she tied them wi' a rope,
For the Hare and the Friar, there wasn't much hope.
She went to her cupboard, and got the nessecary stuff.
Made with nettles and ivy, her potion was pret'y rough.
She cooked these foul ingredients, along with quite another few,
Boiled all together, they made really nasty stew.
"O lack a day! O dearie me! The poor Sorla cried,
With repulsion at the potion, at his ropes he tried.
The Friar was sil'nt though, as if in some deep thought,
Still against the ropes while the Hare against them fought.
The truth you see, from the awful smell, the Friar, (the poor country lout),
Had passed compleatly out!
The Hare's efforts began to slow, his strength began to lag,
The Sister took her chance and filled the Hare, his body started to sag.
He didn't even have the energy to spit the Physick out.
His eyes started close, survival was a doubt,
When at that very moment, the door swung open wide!
Was it someone to save his hide?
But alas, it was the wind, playing with his mind,
Not some gallant rescuer, come for him to find.
The Sister then gave the Friar his dose,
Waking him from his comatose.
Her job done, as she thought, she released them into the early night.
Crawling on their paws and knees, they both knew she'd been right,
For neither any longer had any appetite!

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