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Date Posted: 23:52:32 10/25/03 Sat
Author: Aidah - Too much C programming can make you C-sick

Subject:

Thermodynamic Joke

I needed a break so I thought I share this joke with you guys... I don't know whether you heard it before. Note: Punchline is at the end. But you have to read the whole joke to get it? Geddit?

Dr. Schlambaugh, a senior lecturer at the Chemical
Engineering Department,University of Oklahoma, is known for posing questions on final exams like: "Why do airplanes fly?"

In May a few years ago, the "Momentum, Heat and Mass
Transfer " exam paper contained the question:

"Is Hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof."

Most students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's
Law or similar.
One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we must postulate that if souls exist, they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls also must have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it does not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for souls entering Hell, let's look at the different
religions that exist in the world today. Some religions say that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than
one of these religions, and people do not belong to more
than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell. With the birth and death rates what they are, we can expect the number of
souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change in the volume of Hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of the souls and volume needs to stay constant.

[Answer 1] So, if Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

[Answer 2] Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase in souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate (given to me by
Teresa Banyan during freshman year) that "it'll be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and taking into account that I still have not succeeded in
having sexual relations with her, then [Answer 2] cannot be correct;

...... thus, Hell is exothermic.

The student got the only A.

Darn it. Am I the only one laughing? My career as a stand-up comedian is over.

And also, do you all think the particular emoticon above is disgusting? Cos I wonder is that why you all never use it? You all waiting for the "Give The Paperbag To Barfer" emoticon? Is it? ~shrugs shoulders~ Anyway can't find it anyway.

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