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Date Posted: 16:37:37 02/18/02 Mon
Author: Saras
Subject: Little things like Happiness
In reply to:
Marz and Jeremy
's message, "What the hell?" on 10:19:00 02/18/02 Mon
Saras drew his sandal close, his fingers wrapping around it as he held it tightly doing his best to not cry, like Marz was telling him. It was the least that he could do, and it felt important to him that he stop crying if Marz wanted him to. You got a really cute smile …It was true that he did have a really cute smile, Saras thought. The flattery was enough to draw him out of the pit of self-pity he found himself in, and he smiled shyly through his tears, while he scrubbed at the tears on his cheeks, hoping that it would make Marz happy. That was all he could really do now, without magic… all he really had since he was doing a lousy job at making people happy… at least he could smile and be pretty. Even with tears on his cheeks…
“Everything is all a big mess.” the genie said sullenly. He was still unhappy with himself, but happy to have someone to talk to in spite of his moody thoughts. He had thought he wanted to go away. To be alone, but he knew that wasn’t true. He in fact wasn‘t used to being alone while he was awake. He really preferred to have people close, he had just thought it would be better for everyone if he was out of the way, and not making messes of things. Thinking about his own sadness made him sad again however, because he didn’t know what he could do about it. But he did know that Since Marz was here and he had obviously sought him out, it would be rude and mean to not take advantage of the opportunity to talk. Besides, he really wanted to talk to someone. Marz’s kindness surprised him, since he was sure Marz would have been upset about what he had said as well. But it felt nice to have someone holding him, and he felt strangely content while he tried to explain his tears and his purpose for living. Jeremy and Ravin hadn’t seemed to understand that it meant everything to make other people happy.
Saras smiled and drew his sandal close, his eyes taking on a dreamy distant look. “Making people happy… granting their wishes… it’s the happiest thing for a Genie. It’s what we’re supposed to do--It’s all we’re supposed to do.” The distant, happy look faded somewhat and he looked at the sandal in his hands putting it down on his lap, almost if he was going to start to cry again. “…but I made everyone upset… and Tristan.. and …I guess Jeremy isn’t happy now either. Would you tell Tristan I’m sorry? …I didn’t mean what I said the way it came out” he asked. “I don’t think he likes me or would want to talk to me for a while. Especially not now…”
“I didn’t mean to hurt Tristan’s feelings.” he said quietly. “or to make him angry…I just wanted to make Jeremy happy …but I didn‘t, and I made Tristan even more unhappy…” he felt some of the tears he had been putting off run down his cheeks again, and quickly rubbed them away, knowing that Marz didn‘t want him crying.
“Ravin… doesn’t want me…because I’m a horrible genie” he said quietly. “I know that I‘m horrible, so I know why he doesn‘t want me… but I don’t know what I would do if Jeremy didn’t want me now. I would be all alone…. So I wanted him to be happy… It‘s what I‘m supposed to do after all. But… Tristan was so mean to him, and Jeremy’s always so lonely. I wanted to cheer him up a little bit if I could…”
Saras sighed and finally put the sandal on his foot. “… Tristan really makes you happy, doesn’t he? I guess you know how I feel then… what it’s like to want to make people happy then. That’s all I meant by what I had said…”
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