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Date Posted: 16:04:35 11/28/01 Wed
Author: Marz
Subject: Up, up, and away

Oh shit, I'm in for it now, Marz thought when he saw the angry scowl on Tristan's face. He waited for the dragon to lash out at him just like Sistino used to do. For four long years, he tried to do exactly what his stepfather wanted, but always managed to do it wrong. Not once did Sistino ever compliment him. The house was never clean enough, the food wasn't prepared properly, and no matter how many times he made his bed, Sistino would rip it apart, ordering him to make it up again. He spent one entire night making and unmaking that bed, and Sistino punished him in the morning because it still wasn't made correctly. Marz didn't understand what correctly was since he never attained correctness with anything when it came to his stepfather. Sistino claimed to love him yet he was forever angry with him, and now the same thing kept happening with Tristan. Love sucks!

Marz's face scrunched up in confusion when Tristan accused him of moving away from him at the table because of Isobel. Once again he was struck with the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach that he used to get when he was a child. It came from not knowing what the hell he was supposed to do to keep someone he loved happy. If he got too close to Tristan in public, it angered him. Now, the dragon was pissed because he moved away to give him extra room at the table, and was blaming his actions on Isobel. Marz sucked in a breath and tried not to panic. He wasn't six years old anymore, yet why was he feeling just as confused as he was at that age? This is why I did not want to fall in love! he reminded himself.

Since running away from Sistino, he never had to worry about his actions. He spent the next several years doing whatever the hell he wanted, whenever the hell he wanted to do it. Sure, he had to answer to people like LaCrot and Tegol, but he never really gave a shit about keeping them happy. Following their stupid orders was for the benefit of keeping a roof over his head and gold in his pocket. He never held back his cockiness with those jerks, and most times they put up with it anyway because he knew how to bring in the money for them and get done whatever job they asked him to do.

With Tristan things were different simply because he loved the bastard. Love put him in the terrible position of trying too hard to please yet never succeeding since it was his destiny to rake up and be forever alone. Alone in the gutter with the rats.

Marz shook off the thought and focused on what the dragon was saying. Okay, he admitted to flirting with Isobel, but hadn't he told Tristan dozens of times that his flirting was nothing more than a bad habit? It really didn't mean anything. Being noticed and appreciated by a beautiful woman (or man) was merely an ego boost, and secretly he craved such boosts. Maybe it helped to alleviate the extremely low self-esteem he kept hidden beneath his bold, outrageous exterior. Anyway, Isobel snubbed his advances, so what was the big deal? Al least I wasn't gazing at her with some deep heartfelt longing, like you were doing with Eremis!

What the rake? Why even bother to try to explain? It was only a matter of time before Tristan left him anyway. He wasn't meant to have any happiness in his life for too long, according to Sistino. Even if I forced myself never to flirt with anyone ever again, Tristan would only find something else to hate me for.

Marz squeezed his eyes shut when the dragon embraced him, wishing the moment could last forever. He used to feel the same way when Sistino pulled him into a tight hug after finally releasing him from his closet prison. More than anything else, Marz wanted to be held and loved but knew such things never lasted long. Without even trying, he'd probably get Tristan pissed off again by the end of the day. Why can't I ever do anything right for the person I love?

He stood rather numbly when Tristan backed away to shift into dragon form. Although he was in awe of the magnificent creature that now stood before him, he wasn't sure how the hell to react. Tristan didn't seem happy about his dragon heritage, so he might get upset if Marz told him how much he liked him in that shape. Then again, he might get ticked off if I pretend its no big deal.

Angry over his own confusion, he turned away from the dragon. I raking HATE being in love! "I hate it, I hate it, I hate it because it stifles me!" he whispered. After running both hands through his hair, he gritted his teeth and spun around to stare at Tristan. He took a deep breath then plastered a smile on his face before moving closer.

"You look…..you look really…..great," he stammered. "But not as great as you look in your human shape." He sighed, unable to read the face of an actual dragon and hoping that he wasn't already getting him upset again. "What I'm trying to say is that you always look great to me no matter what form you take…..and a test drive sounds awesome right now."

Swiftly, yet carefully, he climbed up to sit down upon the dragon's back. He held on with his legs as they rose into the air, his solemn mood forgotten once they gained more altitude. "Those poor suckers down there have to deal with smelly Rocs, while I soar on a beautiful, sleek dragon!" he said with a laugh.

Marz lost his balance when he pointed to a fluffy looking cloud hovering above them in the distance. He grabbed Tristan's neck to keep from falling then released his hold once he righted himself. "How high up can you go, Tris? Do you think we could get lost in that cloud for a while? I always wondered if there's anything inside those things. Wouldn't it be fantastic if we found some of that snow up there that you're always talking about?"

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