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Date Posted: 17:01:18 08/09/10 Mon
Author: Fi
Subject: There's a blessing at the end >>>
In reply to:
debikm
's message, "Eat At Joe's" on 09:12:05 08/07/10 Sat
The homework exercises have been most inspiring lately!
This one takes place a little bit after the scene I pasted in the S.E.X. exercise (see "Love in a rainy climate"). There are awkward questions being asked about the disappearance of a certain Mr. Arthur Kirwan. Richard's father suggests that he leave the country for a while, and talks him into undertaking a business trip to Montserrat in the West Indies. As an added bonus, if he makes some money he'll be in a better position to marry Rose. But first, he needs to say goodbye to his mother.
From Claddagh [working title]
by F.H. Hurley
Copyright August 2010
For critique only
Galway, Ireland. 1675.
When Richard opened the cabin door, the smoke stung his eyes and he didn't see his mother until she moved into the light.
“Son, come in, come in.” She had grown a little heavier, walking with a sideways movement as she pulled out a stool. “You'll stay for dinner? Eily, can you throw another few potatoes in the pot?”
He shook his head as he sat down. The furniture was new – the stools had backs to them, and the table no longer wobbled – but it had already grown a layer of soot.
“I can't stay long,” he said.
“Get him a glass of poteen, there, Eily.” Kate sat beside him.
Eily stuck her tongue out as she went to the back of the cabin.
“You haven't changed, sister!” He leaned back, laughing.
“You're still the same bucklepper as ever, brother.” She waved at him as if swatting a fly.
Kate's smile emphasised the new lines on her face and the jowls under her chin. But the extra weight suited her; she seemed more content.
“You're sure you won't stay for dinner? It's been too long, son. You should come more often.”
“I should,” he said. He should have come more often indeed; when would he ever see them again? If only he were a young boy again, when the guilt could be knocked out of him by a clatter of his mother's hand.
“So, how is life in the big town?”
Complicated. “It's well, Ma.”
“How is your father?”
Disappointed in me and worried about his business. Almost completely grey. “He's keeping well.”
Eily returned with the glass of poteen and leaned against the wall. He knocked it back. It tasted exactly as distilled potatoes should taste.
“I have something for you,” he said, pulling out his purse and taking out a few coins.
“Ah, son!” Kate leaned forward and touched his cheek. If only he were a young boy again, when a loving squeeze from his mother could cure all ills.
“You could put it towards Eily's dowry. She could do with a man to put some sense in her head and keep her warm in the winter.”
“Ah, I think Ma will be taken before I am,” his sister scoffed. “You should've seen Petey Kennedy making eyes at her after Mass last Sunday.”
“You're still going to the Mass, aren't you, son?”
“I am, Ma.”
“Do you have a sweetheart yourself, Richard?” asked Eily. He hesitiated too long. “Oh, you do, I can see it!”
“Oh Richard, is that true?” said Kate. “Tell me about her!”
She's a black-souled Protestant, daughter of an English planter and a woman who married her enemy to save her land. Her smile is like sunlight on a grey day, and she asks me where the birds go in winter even though she knows I don't know, and she has the finest arse in the known world. And she's never far away from my mind.
“She's a great girl. But I'm in no position to marry her right now.”
Kate shook her head. “That's a crying shame.”
He swallowed hard. He had to tell them, to get it out. “I have to go away.”
Kate's face dropped. “Oh son, for how long? And to where?”
“For two or three years. To the Indies.”
“The Indies! Sure, that's full of cannibals and darkies. And snakes! Why do you have to go there?”
Because if the sherrif looks any closer into the disappearance of Arthur Kirwan, I'll be dancing the air-jig with the rope around my neck. “It's a business venture. If all goes well, the Joyces will have a hand in the sugar trade, and I'll have proven to my father that I'm fit to inherit the business.”
“You'll be careful, won't you?”
“You know I'm always careful, Ma.” He winked.
“Wait there, I have something for you.” She stood up and went to the back of the cabin, where the sleeping straw was. He decided that when he came back, he would buy her a bed.
“This belonged to Joe.” She returned with something looped over her hand. “If only he'd had it with him that night he went down!”
He took it from her and held it close to his face. A tin medal, engraved with a bearded man carrying a Child over the waves.
“Saint Christopher,” he said. The patron saint of travellers.
“May he bless and protect you against all peril at sea.”
He closed his eyes. “Thank you, Ma.”
“Just come home safe again, son. With the help of God.”
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Great work Fi! -- 
debikm, 18:29:52 08/09/10 Mon
>The homework exercises have been most inspiring
>lately!
TY!
I have nothing as far as a crit to offer. You make the little dark cottage and soot-covered table come to life. And Richard's silent answers to his mother's questions, before his spoken ones are perfect! I especially liked the 'black-souled Protestant'... it made me laugh and a little bit sad, all at once, that such things were even worth worrying about (and still are, inmany parts of the world). Your characters are flesh and blood.
Encore!!
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Thanks >>> -- Fi, 12:36:47 08/12/10 Thu
>I especially liked the 'black-souled Protestant'... it
>made me laugh and a little bit sad, all at once, that
>such things were even worth worrying about (and still
>are, inmany parts of the world).
The religious dimension was originally an afterthought, to add conflict. Of course when I researched the era and got into the story, I realised just how much conflict would be involved, but it was too late to back out! Poor Richard and Rose have so much going against them.
>Your characters are flesh and blood.
It means a lot to hear you say that. They're flesh and blood to me of course, but I hope I can make them like that for other people as well.
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Well okay >>> -- Myxtress, 11:03:44 08/12/10 Thu
Technically there is a blessing at the end, but to me, he's not really feeling it as such.
His actions have resulted with him having to leave for a few years and obviously he's going to miss Rose as well as his mother and sister. And I think, just because I don't know him at all yet, that this scene is showing how he's grown up. He has regrets, wishes he had done things differently. And while I think his intentions are to earn his fathers approval and show he's capable of running the business, as well as make money so he can be in a better position to marry, are admiral, a lot can happen in two or three years. People can change, time can dull memories and feelings, and circumstances just have a habit of making things go off course. Somehow I don't think the patron saint of travellers will be enough to save him.
Hugs
Esther
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Thanks for your thoughts >>> -- Fi, 12:31:36 08/12/10 Thu
>circumstances just have a habit of
>making things go off course.
Hooo boy can they! Poor guy has no idea what he's in for...
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