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Date Posted: 18:04:16 02/27/11 Sun
Author: susiej
Subject: Hola! I'm back from the land of brain dead. It could be I've posted this scene before, but if so, it was long enough ago that even I don't remember. Don't hold back on me. I've been going to a crit group where you have to read aloud in front of about 15, mostly male action /adventure/spy readers- believe me, they don't hold back.
In reply to: Esther 's message, "HOMEWORK" on 16:47:36 02/22/11 Tue

brief intro: Rose is at her grandmother's funeral where all the village gossips are talking about her unaware that her half-fae hearing allows her to hear everything they say (and non of it is nice)

Rose titled her head trying to see who’d spoken when a glimmer near the grave caught her eye. Light rarely made it to the roots of the old oak. Looking closer she realized a young man stood among the shadows, with his head bowed.

Something about his manner made her still instantly, like she had when she’d seen the stag at the edge of the field. She knew such sightings were gifts, that the wild creatures were aware of her long before she’d sensed them. She also knew that one wrong move could make them vanish into the trees.

This man wasn’t easy to see in the first place. His tunic, breeches, and boots were the same gray as the thick trunk behind him, and they fit his long, lean form as neatly as the bark fit the tree. His black hair fell forward, hiding his face. Her fingers twitched aching to brush it back and he lifted his head and looked straight at her.
His eyes were a blue such as she’d only seen in the hottest part of a fire. She actually felt her cheeks warming, and her heart beat faster as it did when the stag had met her gaze and she’d had to remind herself not to forget the horns while longing to stroke the graceful neck. Nor should one forget the speed and power with which such creatures moved.

Gradie gruffed softly, and she blinked. She’d been staring. As so many had done at her! But the man smiled as though he didn’t mind at all. As if, he was glad.

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[> [> Good imagery! -- Debi, 10:29:54 03/12/11 Sat

>brief intro: Rose is at her grandmother's funeral
>where all the village gossips are talking about her
>unaware that her half-fae hearing allows her to hear
>everything they say (and non of it is nice)
>
>Rose titled tiltedher head trying to see who’d spoken when a
>glimmer near the grave caught her eye. Light rarely
>made it to the roots of the old oak. Looking closer
>she realized a young man stood among the shadows, with
>his head bowed.
>
>Something about his manner made her still instantly,
>like she had when she’d seen the stag at the edge of
>the field. She knew such sightings were gifts, that
>the wild creatures were aware of her long before she’d
>sensed them. She also knew that one wrong move could
>make them vanish into the trees.
>
>This man wasn’t easy to see in the first place. His
>tunic, breeches, and boots were the same gray as the
>thick trunk behind him, and they fit his long, lean
>form as neatly as the bark fit the tree. His black
>hair fell forward, hiding his face. Her fingers
>twitched comma here, for a pause aching to brush it back and he lifted his
>head and looked straight at her.
>His eyes were a blue such as she’d only seen in the
>hottest part of a fire. Awesome description. My blue-eyed people always get compared to skies. This implies his wild nature as well as the bright color.She actually felt her cheeks
>warming, and her heart beat faster as it did when the
>stag had met her gaze and she’d had to remind herself
>not to forget the horns while longing to stroke the
>graceful neck. Nor should one forget the speed and
>power with which such creatures moved.
>
>Gradie gruffed softly, and she blinked. She’d been
>staring. As so many had done at her! But the man
>smiled as though he didn’t mind at all. As if, Here I'd delete the comma. he was
>glad.

Excellent images of what this scene should look like. I can see the oak, shafts of sunlight and this man all very clearly. Mission accomplished!
Debi

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