>brief intro: Rose is at her grandmother's funeral
>where all the village gossips are talking about her
>unaware that her half-fae hearing allows her to hear
>everything they say (and non of it is nice)
>
>Rose titled tiltedher head trying to see who’d spoken when a
>glimmer near the grave caught her eye. Light rarely
>made it to the roots of the old oak. Looking closer
>she realized a young man stood among the shadows, with
>his head bowed.
>
>Something about his manner made her still instantly,
>like she had when she’d seen the stag at the edge of
>the field. She knew such sightings were gifts, that
>the wild creatures were aware of her long before she’d
>sensed them. She also knew that one wrong move could
>make them vanish into the trees.
>
>This man wasn’t easy to see in the first place. His
>tunic, breeches, and boots were the same gray as the
>thick trunk behind him, and they fit his long, lean
>form as neatly as the bark fit the tree. His black
>hair fell forward, hiding his face. Her fingers
>twitched comma here, for a pause aching to brush it back and he lifted his
>head and looked straight at her.
>His eyes were a blue such as she’d only seen in the
>hottest part of a fire. Awesome description. My blue-eyed people always get compared to skies. This implies his wild nature as well as the bright color.She actually felt her cheeks
>warming, and her heart beat faster as it did when the
>stag had met her gaze and she’d had to remind herself
>not to forget the horns while longing to stroke the
>graceful neck. Nor should one forget the speed and
>power with which such creatures moved.
>
>Gradie gruffed softly, and she blinked. She’d been
>staring. As so many had done at her! But the man
>smiled as though he didn’t mind at all. As if, Here I'd delete the comma. he was
>glad.
Excellent images of what this scene should look like. I can see the oak, shafts of sunlight and this man all very clearly. Mission accomplished!
Debi
