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Date Posted: 20:32:49 04/02/14 Wed
Subject: This story looks really interesting. Your descriptions are vivid, and your dialog flows very well, showing me things about characters I know nothing about. I look forward to seeing more of your work! I'm sorry this isn't more technical... I have 4 minutes before something needs stirring for dinner. *smiles*
In reply to:
's message, "Here's what's new in my world >>>" on 16:32:41 04/02/14 Wed
>Well, let’s see. Writing wise - I didn’t do much
>except for write a membership letter for a client.
>It's been crazy busy. We are hosting a Japanese
>exchange student for a couple weeks and she arrived on
>Monday the 24th, and my gosh, have they been kept
>hopping. Which means I’ve been doing extra driving
>and staying around in town while they do whatever is
>scheduled. I’ve been cooking like mad too, so she can
>experience typical Canadian meals. Tonight is ribs
>with homemade potato salad and probably a pasta salad,
>since she mentioned she wants to have different pasta.
> We already had lasagne. Oh yeah, and I have to get
>my hours in at work too. So not much downtime.
>Also my computer has been dying a slow and painful
>death, which is the main excuse for my being late with
>this post, and it definitely has messed with my
>schedule, cause no matter how many hours I work, I
>can’t get anything done. Something that should take
>less than a minute took an hour and a half. And the
>other day, it wouldn’t even start. Had to keep
>pressing the power button and then keep my fingers
>crossed. Two hours later I apologized for the name
>calling. In any event, its not being shut down again.
> When it is working it keeps slowing down until it
>just stops responding, and then after a few hours rest
>works fine again. And forget about having more than
>one file open at a time as it gets confused and stops
>responding. Can we send out a huge thank you for
>online backup? Without the knowledge my info was
>retrievable, I’d have been in a real state, not just
>inconvenienced. My new one arrived yesterday
>afternoon, and I'm still trying to function around
>Back to business. Since it’s the start of a brand new
>month, I’m going to openly proclaim my writing goal of
>3500 words each week. I used to be pretty prolific,
>and I’m figuring that if I was to do this every day
>I’d get some momentum back. And I’m going to post the
>last piece of writing I did. This is from back in
>February, so it’s the most current writing I have.
>Excerpt from working title ‘Mirrors’
>by E.M. Sawatzky © 2014 All rights reserved.
>Posted for critiquing purposes only and does not
>“What the fuck, Fallon?” Such a sentiment needed
>repeating in the circumstance.
>“Well, My Pet,” Fallon said, wrapping an arm around my
>shoulder and turning me around, “It would appear my
>mother is going to be staying with us for awhile.”
>“There is no us. And the last time I checked, I lived
>“You don’t expect me to live with you, do you?”
>“Not with me, no. The appropriate pronoun in this
>case would be us.”
>“Us? As in who exactly?”
>“Cadmus. Your mates.”
>My brow arched in disbelief. “No way. I can’t live
>with three men!”
>“Males. And Honey, that’s what mates do. They live
>“Fallon, I can’t.”
>“Walk with me.” Fallon took my hand and led me away
>from the insanity.
>The landscape was white nothingness until Fallon
>provided an ocean view and the sound of waves crashing
>against the rocks. Our feet were bare, the sand a
>caress between our toes. A gentle breeze tugged at my
>hair. The beach went on forever. We walked and we
>walked. We watched the sunrise. And then we walked
>some more. Mentally and physically exhausted, and
>still we walked.
>“You know, My Pet, I’ve never strolled hand and hand
>with a female down the beach before.”
>“Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever held a female hand
>in any other way than to restrain her.”
> “Fallon, I…” What could I say to that?
>“Well, perhaps to guide her grip.” More moments
>passed in silence. “I much prefer this, being here
>“Did you hate your existence?”
>“How could I? I love females. I love human women. I
>would do anything for them.”
>“But didn’t you ever wish for something more?”
>“Until you, I didn’t know there could be anything
>besides the physical.” He chuckled.
>“It’s not funny.”
>“Sorry, male wishes.”
>“Do you want to know what I wish? I wish I could be
>what you need.”
>“Fallon, all I have ever done is hurt you. I’ve hurt
>everyone. You. Darian. And even Cadmus.”
>“Cadmus is a complication, but he will survive.”
>“I’m worried. About all of you.”
>We stopped to watch the sunset. Fallon stood behind
>me, his arms wrapped around my waist, and his chin
>resting on the top of my head.
>“What are we going to do, Fallon?”
>“My Pet, there is no we.”
>I turned in his arms so I was facing him. “Wha—”
>“You know, the funny thing about mates is they always
>protect each other. I trust you to do what is best
>for me. Darian and Cadmus feel the same.” His lips
>brushed my forehead in a light kiss.
>“But surely when we get back the four of us will talk,
>“Males don’t sit and talk together. Especially when a
>mate is involved.”
>“But your moth—”
>“My mother would make five. And that tells me it’s
>not going to be a social occasion.”
>I laid my head against his chest and gloried in the
>feel of his arms tightening around me. “It is a
>“Ah, My Pet, it is for you.” He lifted my chin with
>his curled index finger and whispered, “Look into my
>eyes. See the truth you know is there.”
>I don’t know what woke me. The room was still dark,
>the clock on the night stand telling me it was the
>middle of the night. Yet, I was positive it was the
>sun filtering in through the window that woke me.
>Contentment rode me as I stretched. It was a glorious
>day. Christmas day. I couldn’t wait to have Mom
>unwrap her present.
>Wait a minute. I switched on the lamp and glanced
>around the room. My bedroom with its dirty laundry on
>the floor, the dust on the furniture, and the mouldy
>dishes scattered about. It smelled of grime and
>neglect… and abandonment. But it wasn’t and couldn’t
>Despair swirled about me like vines growing on a tree.
> A tree? Well of course a tree. It was Christmas. I
>didn’t put up a Christmas tree this year. And I
>hadn’t gone shopping at all.
>Was it only yesterday when Mom stopped by? I groaned,
>and remembering her not so subtle lecture, pulled the
>blankets over my head as if to block out the memory
>with the loss of sight.
>Loss of sight? Thoughts of Darian made my eyes burn.
>I had lost him. Really and truly lost him.
>I brushed away the tears, and following the path,
>gripped my tangled hair in my fists so tight I could
>feel the pull on my scalp. A memory was just out of
>reach. A sound.
>“What the fuck Heather. Get your ass out of bed and
>go to Mom’s and pretend to be a human being.”
>A human being? You know you’re not human.
>Where the hell did that thought come from? “Well it’s
>better than being called Female, isn’t it? And isn’t
>it just wonderful that I’m answering myself.”
>I tossed the blanket to the side and shivered when my
>bare feet touched the ice-cold floor. Without
>thinking I glanced at the window, half expecting to
>see ice covering the glass and spread out on the wall.
> “Darian is gone, Heather. Get used to it.” A quick
>rummage through the mess on the floor didn’t reveal
>any slippers, so I gave up and shuffled down the hall
>and into the kitchen.
>What a disaster. No wonder Mom left upset yesterday.
>There wasn’t even a clean cup in the cupboard to have
>coffee. Resigned to clean up duty, I opened the
>cupboard under the kitchen sink. It was a disaster
>with garbage spilling out over the top of the
>container, cleaning sponges covered in dirt and grime,
>and cobwebs taking over the corners. There was even
>dog hair left from Tony’s dog, fluffing around as I
>searched, somewhat more frantically as each second
>passed, for the dish liquid.
>I had to crawl practically into the cupboard to reach
>it way in the back, tipped over and leaking onto the
>And she’s the mate to THREE of the most powerful
>My head smashed up into the cupboard when I reared up
>in surprise. Rubbing the emerging goose-egg, I felt a
>trickling of unease. There was no one there. Yet I
>knew I heard someone. Speaking in my head. Like
>Darian. Only this voice was distinctly female and
>markedly snide. And I had no idea what she meant.
>What three men?
>Conscious of my shabby appearance, I forced myself not
>to run my fingers through my hair. I knew it was
>dirty and knotted, and for some reason, I did not want
>to appear that I cared that I looked unkempt.
>All the same, the desire for a shower had me
>scrambling to the bathroom. Seeing the towels on the
>floor, the last one I used tossed over the open door,
>had me almost in tears.
>There was no doubt I was not measuring up to the
>scrutiny by the female lurking in my mind. So how the
>heck was I to shower? Oh come on. I was imagining
>things. There was no voice in my head, and definitely
>not one that would judge me. Unless...it was my
>Another memory was just out of reach, a voice telling
>me it was okay. But it wasn't. I was embarrassed
>over the state of my home and my appearance. Or maybe
>it was okay. Darian saw me as I saw myself. So all I
>had to do was change my perception.
>Look into my eyes, see the truth you know is there.
>Ashamed I had let Darian down, I figured I had nothing
>to lose. I retrieved the towels strewn haphazardly
>all over and plodded back to the kitchen, the mass of
>fusty towels sorted for the washing machine. A large
>load, hot water and some Tide detergent and I felt
>like I could accomplish anything.
>I picked up the dish liquid where I had dropped it,
>and tilting it upside down, dribbled a few drops into
>the sink, then assessing the situation as dire, gave
>it a good squeeze and a great glob of blue coated the
>stainless steel. Dishes were selected and stacked and
>finally, hot water added to allow them to soak.
>My feet stuck to the floor as I went back to the
>bathroom. I was having a shower, damn it, and if I
>didn’t have a clean towel left in the house, I didn’t
>give a shit because I had some creamy lotion I could
>rub in till I was dry. If my subconscious wanted to
>watch, let her watch.
>It was a sad day indeed when my only clean clothes
>consisted of lingerie I had received from my lying,
>cheating, scumbag of a fiance, before Darian had shown
>me what I already had known for the truth. With a
>sigh, I slipped into the barely there panties, push
>up bra and wrap. I ran my hands over the silk
>covering my arms, certain I had forgotten something.
>Why did I envision a room with rose petals on the
>floor? I shook my head to get rid of the image and
>smiled. I was a goddess about to do laundry. I went
>back to the kitchen, put the towels in the dryer and
>the first load of my clothes in the washer.
>The water in the kitchen sink was lukewarm so I
>drained it, and then letting hot water run into the
>stacked bowls, started in on the massive job.
>Thoughts of Darian kept me distracted and made the
>time fly by quickly. The only time I stopped was to
>change out the dry towels for the wet clothes and get
>another load of laundry going. I don’t recall folding
>the towels, but I needed them to be folded and put
>away, and so they were.
>It took two hours to sanitize the kitchen to habitable
>levels. My feet ached from standing by the sink for
>so long. But I felt better than I had in a long time.
>Now to enjoy my first taste of caffeine for the day in
>celebration. I grabbed my sparkling clean coffee pot,
>turned the tap on and glanced out the window.
>The sun was rising; the light glinted off the glass
>like sunlight on a mirror. My eyes closed; the sound
>of running water reminded me of a waterfall. I
>scrunched my toes up as if to feel the sand between
>I felt the phantom weight and warmth of a body behind
>me. A magical, masculine scent had me swooning with
>rapture. I dropped the coffee pot, the glass
>fragmenting into infinite pieces.
>“Fallon! I forgot Fallon. How the hell could I
>The world started spinning, and the next thing I knew
>I was standing in my underwear in front of the Senate
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Thanks! This is exactly what this check in is for - to encourage us, and you managed to do so in between reading and making dinner! Nothing technical required. *G* -- Myxtress, 10:52:07 04/03/14 Thu
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