Date Posted:05:56:08 06/18/10 Fri Author: Fi Subject: Great dialog and characterization, as always >>>> In reply to:
debikm
's message, "In here, Old Dogs scene: 1082 words" on 21:47:42 06/14/10 Mon
Alan and Nessa want to help, Valerie wants to be left alone... You've really captured the tension here.
>Valerie flinched from Daniel’s angry shout and felt
>worse when she saw him recoil as he realized he’d
>startled her.
>Twin gasps came from from Alan and Nessa intensified the tension.
>Valerie was still angry and the current
>situation was spinning madly out of her control,
>making her head throb with strain.
>“You’re damn skippy I’m upset!
Nice dialog.
>Then her gaze narrowed.
>She was annoyed that
>neither Alan nor Nessa would answer her or look her in
>the eyes in promise.
>Her family stared at her as if she’d grown four heads
>the Roark family jungle drum network
LOL. My cousin calls this the "parentnet".
>‘you should have him assassinated’, an idea I’m not completely
>opposed to in principle, mind you,
:D
>“I know, I’m a terrible, an ungrateful bitch
>Daniel spread his hands in helpless confusion. “I
>don’t know what you want from me.”
>
>“I don’t really want anything from you.”
Ouch!
>Daniel’s expression was surprised,
>starting to lean leaning toward offended
More zen recommended, I see...;-) I can't help it! My fingers just have a mind of their own, es evidenced by the horrendous typos after the first pass... Thanks again!
