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Date Posted: 17:16:40 06/12/10 Sat
Author: 
debikm
Subject: What's up Docs?
Things are quiet around here again, so I'm hoping to stir a bit of activity with the homework suggestions below. Feel free to adapt the ideas to suit your needs. The point of these is to get you writing, not lazing about like I've been! ;-)
1. Last time, we wrote something from our childhood, real or imagined. This time, write about something you are resonably sure you will never experience. Be very specific, the more details you include the more likely it is that your reader will beleive you. Include feelings and reactions.
2. Line, please!- Use the following line in a scene or excerpt: "I've seen a lot but, I've got to admit, that freaks me out a little."
Have fun!!
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I'll see your lazing about and raise you Complete Non-Productivity for over a month. However... >>>> -- Page, 14:26:27 06/14/10 Mon
I must fall right now at your feet and express my undying love and gratitude because your HW prompts have stirred me to write! No, seriously, I've had the worst case of I-Don't-Wannas for so long I thought every bit of creativity or inspiration had dried up forever. I'd gotten to the point where I thought I couldn't write anymore. But when I saw the new HW post, I heaved a sigh and thought, "Well, I'll give it a shot." (Actually, I did the same thing on the last HW, but ultimately didn't do a thing with it.) So I opened MS Word and sent out a plea for one of my characters - any of them, I didn't care which - to please, for the love of God, to talk to me. And Katie came to the rescue.
This is something new and won't end up in the book since it's too effing long as it is, but it explains a bit of something we knew but never saw. We all knew Adam had been divorced twice, but none of the details came out in the book. Well, here's a tiny bit about his first divorce, although he doesn't strictly make an appearance.
Excerpt from Carey On
©2010 by Juli Page Morgan
Posted for purposes of critique only and does not constitute publication
A quick check of the hallway revealed that no one was about, and Katie let out a sigh of relief. All she needed was for someone to see her exiting Adam’s room with her clothes rumpled, her hair mussed and her lips swollen.
As she scurried down the hall like a thief sneaking from the scene of a crime, she dug in the front pocket of her jeans for her room key. Her hands were shaking so much the key skittered around the plate before sliding into the lock, and a part of Katie’s mind observed this with surprise. She hadn’t realized she’d been so affected by what happened. But then, it was the closest she’d ever come to being raped and it would be odd if she didn’t have some sort of reaction to it. Even if she did understand Adam’s motivations.
Opening the door in small increments, her gaze darted around the room trying to see everywhere at once. She closed the door behind her and leaned against it. “Jay?”
No answer. Tiptoeing across the floor, she peeked into the bathroom, only to find it empty. She let out a sigh of mingled relief and irritation and entered the small room. Picking up her hairbrush from the counter, she smoothed her hair while taking stock of her appearance in the mirror.
In spite of their throbbing, her lips weren’t as swollen as she’d feared. After the crushing pressure of Adam’s mouth, Katie had expected them to look like she’d had a bee-sting right to the kisser. In reality it looked more like she’d just been worrying her lips with her teeth, so that was okay. The lips in question tightened, though, as she observed the rip in her blouse. Dammit. She’d bought that blouse at The Family Dog right after she’d moved to London, and it was one of her favorites. Dropping the brush, she leaned closer to the mirror and fingered the rent in the fabric over her shoulder. No, she decided. Not even Stephanie would be able to fix this one.
With a sigh, she met her eyes in the mirror and stopped. She’d seen an expression like that once before; the time a deer had darted out onto the road in front of her father’s car and then frozen in fear, pinned by the oncoming headlights. That look of mingled panic, fear and yes, inevitability stared back at her from the green eyes in the mirror, and Katie shuddered. Her father had managed to stop the car before they hit the motionless animal, and Katie only hoped she’d be able to bound away like the deer had, shaken but unhurt.
As she changed her blouse, Katie hoped Jay would be able to do something for Adam since she was at a loss. Yes, she’d lived with him, slept with him and loved him, but she never really knew him; at least not enough to know what kind of help to offer at a time like this. Jay had known Adam for a long time, so maybe he’d know what to do now that Adam’s cold-hearted, calculating wife had just announced over the phone from 5,000 miles away that she’d filed for divorce and sole custody of Alex.
Wadding up the ruined blouse, Katie thought it was just her dumb luck to be the first person Adam had seen after that phone call. She’d been devastated for him, but hadn’t been prepared for his attempts to drown his sorrows by making love to her. The whole thing was blurred in her mind, and she still wasn’t sure how she’d managed to get away from him. One thing was sure, though; she wasn’t going near him again until someone else had calmed him down.
Her search for Jay ended in Stuart’s room. In fact, her search for anyone ended there since it appeared the entire population of Los Angeles was crowded into the room, all their attention seemingly riveted on the bathroom. Frowning in confusion, Katie elbowed her way through the mass of people until she was able to squeeze into the tiny room where she was brought up short by the sight in front of her. Two naked groupies writhed and squirmed as they made love to each other in a bathtub filled with – dear God, was that creamed corn? A closer look verified that it was, and Katie made a face of disgust. She’d always thought creamed corn looked like squashed bug guts and the two girls thrashing about in a bathtub full of it did nothing to alter her perceptions. The thought crossed her mind that creamed corn did make sense because, after all, Ann Margaret had already done the whole baked beans thing in Tommy. With a feeling of horror, Katie wondered if she was losing her mind.
She stiffened as arms slid around her waist, but relaxed when Jay’s voiced tickled her ear.
“Interesting little diversion, innit?”
Katie shook her head. “I’ve seen a lot, but I’ve got to admit that freaks me out a little. I mean, where in the world did they get enough creamed corn to fill up a bathtub?”
Warm breath warmed her cheek as Jay laughed. “That’s what’s on your mind?”
“Well, that, and wondering how they’re going to get it out of their hair and, um, other places.”
After a brief pause, she felt Jay shudder. “Yuck,” he pronounced. “I didn’t think of that.” He seemed to dismiss it as he pulled her back against him, and she realized, yuck or not, he was mightily aroused.
The combination of near-rape and public sex in creamed corn was enough to make Katie consider taking a vow of celibacy, and she knew she had to get out of the room before that happened. She turned in Jay’s arms and caught his eye.
“I hate to break up the fun, but we have a little problem.”
Jay’s smile faded to a look of concern. “What is it?”
Katie glanced around at the people surrounding them and shook her head. She doubted if any of them were paying any attention to what she said, but she had to get out of that room. The smell of corn and the thought of squashed bug guts was bringing her panic close to the surface again, and she slid her arms around Jay’s waist and began pulling him toward the door. “Come on, we’ll talk somewhere else.”
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This is great! -- Debi, 18:33:54 06/14/10 Mon
Ewwww.....! I can see the scene and I think I'm nerly as repulsed as Katie! Way to create an image!
And the whole situation with Adam... well. I can totally see him seeking comfort in Katie, needing to be proven worthy of some sort of affection. But that's the wrong way to go about it. With Katie, I'm surprised she didn't exit the room with his testicles in her hand.
I'm so glad Katie came to your rescue. I need to see who will help me out here shortly.
Woo hoo!!!
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Why, thank you. And a big thank you right back at you. >>>> -- Page, 18:46:26 06/22/10 Tue
I know sometimes posting a HW and having limited response is discouraging, but man! They do help me out. Even if I don't do the assignment. They get me thinking, and more times than not something comes out of it, one way or another.
I'd been very, very depressed about Carey On since I whittled it down to 128,000 words. It just wasn't right and it killed me to know it was just sitting there slowly bleeding to death. I was doubting my abilities, seething over the word count and...well, frankly, had just about given up. And here came this HW. And Katie popped up.
After I wrote this, I opened my CO file and took a long, hard look at it. And I decided not to let it die. I love that story and those characters, dammit, and I'd dedicated almost two years of my life to that book. Damned if I'd let the current publishing situation kill it! So since I wrote this bit I've been rewriting the book. Yes, I'm still cutting words and scenes, but I'm doing it without letting it affect the story. I'm combining certain things which cuts out words, but still lets the story move forward. And with those words cut, I have a bit more leeway to flesh out certain bits of the book I felt from the beginning were rushed.
So Carey On still lives. And it all came from a HW.
Bless you.
Page
P.S. Yep, Katie was a little too shocked to leave Adam's room with his testicles gripped in her fist, but we can't count out Jay. Heehee.
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Carey On was meant to be. As proof, we radiographed a dog today named "Katie Carey" No BS, I swear. -- Debi, 14:51:59 06/23/10 Wed
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Dang, I should proofread my posts before I hit 'send'. Molly hires a waitress, 769 words -- debikm, 20:56:04 06/14/10 Mon
So, this has been written for awhile, but it fit the 'things I will probably never do' category. Since I don't own a bar, I'm unlikely to hire a barmaid. Once again, Molly and her 'tude...;-)
Excerpt from Downtown Babylon, by Debi Matlack, copyright 2009-2010, all rights reserved. Posted for sharing and critique purposes only, does not consitute publication.
--------
Even though they were busy, it occurred to Molly that the lightening mood after Janice’s departure made it all worthwhile. The rate of peanut and pretzel consumption slowed too, making Molly realize that Janice had been practicing pilferage for months.
She'd posted an ad for a new barmaid but hadn’t had any takers that could do the job. So Molly continued to wait tables and left all of the bartending and mixing of drinks to Jimmy.
Afternoon sunlight lanced into the dim bar interior as the door was pushed open. Interrupting the light was a vague human silhouette that Molly didn’t recognize. The figure paused inside the door, no doubt trying to adjust their eyes to the lack of bright lighting inside.
“You wanna close the door before you blind us?” Jimmy grumped, his hand in front of his eyes.
“Excuse the hell out of me.”
The door swung closed and Molly blinked. The snarky newcomer was revealed to be a willowy blonde, balanced at the top of a set of stiletto heels and wearing a pair of jeans that looked like they’d been airbrushed on her. She had the body to pull off the look, Molly had to admit. A striped crop top hugged over her ample breasts, ending well short of the low waistline of her jeans and a golden ring winked at her navel. Her long blonde hair hung to her waist and fell in tousled fuck-me curls. She reminded Molly of the halter competition horses she used to see at shows. Bred and groomed for looks alone, they had only their looks going for them. Most of them hadn’t the faintest idea what a bridle or saddle was and had the personalities to match such an elite upbringing. For that matter, next to the young woman’s polished appearance,
Molly felt a little like one of the cow horses she’d ridden; sturdy, strong, but not necessarily much in the beauty department. The girl stood there, with an air of expectation.
“Can I help you?” Molly asked.
“I understand you’re hiring.”
Jimmy jerked a thumb over his shoulder. “Titty bars are a couple of miles down the road.” Molly had to suppress a giggle and she thumped the back of her hand across his arm.
“Be nice.” She turned back to the girl to see her reaction. As she expected, the prospective employee was turning red and indignant.
“What makes you think I should be working at one of them?”
Molly raised her brows. “He’s got a point. Did you look in a mirror before you left home?”
“Of course I did! I knew I was coming to interview to work at a bar.”
“As a barmaid, a waitress. We don’t wear mini skirts here, we don’t dance on the tables or the bar, we serve drinks, a few sandwiches and chips, we watch TV and shoot the shit.”
“What are you trying to say?” Oh, little Miss Indignant was building up to a full head of steam.
“What I’m saying is, unless you’re planning to turn tricks, you shouldn’t dress like you are. Would you show up to an interview for an office job looking like that?”
“Of course not.” The tone was cooling now and the blonde was looking a little sheepish.
“Then you shouldn’t show up to any job interview looking like a street corner hooker. Even for a job in a bar.”
“Oh… I’m sorry.” She turned to go.
“Hang on, you want the interview or not?” Molly’s words stopped her as she was reaching for the door handle. She turned around, a glimmer of hope in her dark brown eyes.
“Yeah?”
“How do you mix a Long Island Iced Tea?”
Without hesitation, the girl replied, “A quarter ounce each of gin, vodka, spiced rum, tequila and triple sec, an ounce of sweet and sour mix, six ounces of cola, all over ice. With lemon.”
“How about a boilermaker?”
“Shot glass of whiskey, mug of beer. Light the whiskey, drop it in the beer.”
“And a Blow Job?”
A little smile came over her face. “Take a shot glass, fill it three quarters full of amaretto, top it off with Irish cream. The drinker has to put their hands behind their back and pick it up with their mouth to toss it back. Preferably from a man’s lap.”
Molly grinned. “What’s your name?”
The blonde gave her a cautious smile. “Lisa.”
“Lisa, come back at seven dressed like a normal human being and we’ll see how you do.”
The smile blossomed into a full blown grin. “Yes ma’am!” She bolted through the door.
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Just for fun, here's a link to the song that lent the title of Molly's story. -- debikm, 21:22:53 06/14/10 Mon
I don't work for Paul Thorn, but I love his music.He is an amazing singer-songwriter and a fascinating man to boot. Give him a listen.
http://preview.tinyurl.com/25paa2e
Last edited by author: Mon June 14, 2010 21:52:44
Edited 3 times.
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OMG, I've heard that song before! I had no idea what it was called or who sang it, but I thought (and still think) it's brilliant! -- Page, 18:01:47 06/22/10 Tue
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Paul Thorn is awesome. And has a new CD out. "Pimps and Preachers". How perfect is that title?! -- Debi, 06:34:03 06/23/10 Wed
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Ah, Lisa, Lisa, Lisa. >>>> -- Page, 18:08:47 06/22/10 Tue
At least Molly was cool enough to see past the outfit bought at Whores R Us to give the girl a chance. *G*
Also, I now know why I've never liked Long Island Iced Tea. I have, however, been know to put away a pitcher of Long Island Lemonade by myself. (I understand they rolled me home, but like Sgt. Schultz, I know nothing.)
And, finally, this story SO rocks. I totally mean that.
Hugs,
Page
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Dress like a slut, get mistaken for one... ;-) -- Debi, 14:49:31 06/23/10 Wed
>At least Molly was cool enough to see past the outfit
>bought at Whores R Us to give the girl a chance. *G*
>
That and she was tired of waiting tables...,?I>
>Also, I now know why I've never liked Long Island Iced
>Tea. I have, however, been know to put away a pitcher
>of Long Island Lemonade by myself. (I understand they
>rolled me home, but like Sgt. Schultz, I know nothing.)
>
>And, finally, this story SO rocks. I totally mean
>that.
>
>Hugs,
>Page
Thanks, Page. I love the characters. They might have more to say soon. I can feel it in the back of my brain...
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Line Please: Hope Juli doesn't mind me using her on this one but when I saw the line... I just had too. :-) It's under 500 words and I really wanted to do more but it would've become a bit x-rated so this is the toned down version. Enjoy! -- Page2, 00:28:39 06/26/10 Sat
Juli smiled. My god, he was so handsome. With a tilt of her head she gave him a knowing smile and licked her lips seductively. Come to mama! You’re all mine for tonight. Knowing that all good things come to those who wait, she had patiently waited - a long time too! Now all the years of pining and lusting after this gorgeous Adonis was worth it. Being with him now, for this one night, sent flutters to her belly and made her giddy with excitement. She felt like a teenager on her first date; only she hoped this date would progress further than a wet and sloppy kiss on the lips. If she had her way, and she would, there would be more than just kisses heading Mr. Page’s way.
When he picked up the ebony colored Fender guitar and placed the black leather strap over his shoulder, she trembled inside. The guitar was as sleek as his fingers were long. She squealed inwardly when he began to strum the guitar. When the notes turned into magical music, she was awestruck - Jimmy Page was creating a beautiful song just for her. Mesmerized, she stood not more than a foot away and watched him play. With a tilt of his head, shoulder length, silver hair cascaded over one cheek. A chill ran through her at the thought of fingering those locks. As if she could be so bold? The music reached a crescendo; Jimmy pursed his lips and closed his eyes in rapt concentration. Or, was it orgasmic delight? A devilish glint was in her eyes and a mischievous grin appeared on her lips. She couldn’t wait to find out?
As the song came to an end, she smiled and clapped her hands in great applause then went over and gave him a hug. “That was beautiful. Thank you.”
“You enjoyed it then?”
She watched as he removed the guitar and raised a brow when she saw the extremely large bulge in the center of black pants. Wow, she thought staring unabashed. Jess and Steph were right when they coined him Anaconda Jim. That thing was huge.
“You like what you see?”
Caught staring, Juli looked up to see Jimmy smiling devilishly at her. Looking back one more time, she cocked her head then let out a breath of air. “Honey, I've seen a lot but I've got to admit, that freaks me out a little."
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Re: Line Please: Hope Juli doesn't mind me using her on this one but when I saw the line... I just had too. :-) It's under 500 words and I really wanted to do more but it would've become a bit x-rated so this is the toned down version. Enjoy! -- debikm, 23:39:10 06/26/10 Sat
LOL!!! I love it, how you saved that line for the last. Perfect!!!....*giggle*
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Like I'm EVER going to mind getting it on with Anaconda Jim - even in a HW! *G* Thank you, ma'am! -- Page, 13:14:01 06/27/10 Sun
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