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Date Posted: 14:55:56 01/12/10 Tue
Author: Debi
Subject: Naked...
In reply to: Debi 's message, "New Year, New Ideas!" on 18:07:48 01/01/10 Fri

Okay, it took me some time, but I finally am replying to my own homework. Molly is telling a story about how she met the man she almost married years before.

Excerpt from Downtown Babylon, copyright 2009-2010, by Debi Matlack; all rights reserved. Posted for critique and sharing only; does not constitute publication.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Molly’s mood rose a few notches after the party got under way. Bill Wagner, Adam’s buddy from the Marines was sitting at the bar. He’d made the trip from Virginia for the first time and was eagerly absorbing the stories about his friend. During a brief lull, he gave Molly a quizzical look.

“How did you meet Adam?”

Before Molly could answer, there was a collective snigger from those within earshot, followed by several people trying to tell the story at the same time.

“Hold it!” Molly rapped out. “If anyone is going to tell this, it’s me. I was there after all.”

“Sort of,” Edith smirked.

Molly pointed a steady finger at her. “You just hush.”

“Now I have to hear this.” Bill grinned at her.

Molly wiped an imaginary puddle off the bar. “Well, when I was a teenager, my best friend’s family had horses. Quarter horses, to be precise. I’d go hang out and ride, and it turns out I was pretty good at it.”

“What the hell does that have to do with anything?” Fitz yelled from across the room.

“You shut up. It’s my story.” Molly smile belied the harsh words. Turning back to Bill, she went on.

“Anyway, my friend’s dad let me ride one of their horses in shows and I seemed to have a gift for not falling off cutting horses, so he let me ride Bugs in a few shows. I must have been about eighteen, just out of high school. We’d been to a show near Orlando, did pretty well, so someone invited Betsy and I to a pool party. It was at a family friend’s house, so Betsy’s dad said okay. What he didn’t know, however, was that the parents weren’t home.”

“Oh…” said several people. She chuckled.

“Yeah, ‘oh….’ “ she mimicked. “There were a lot of people there I didn’t know, and one of them was this tall, good-looking fellow with dark hair and dark eyes. Very nice.”

Someone made a lascivious sound, making everyone laugh.

“Now, in my younger, foolish years, I was rather proud of my ability to hold my alcohol, but all I’d ever really drank was beer.”

Someone in the crowd said “Uh oh.”

Molly nodded. “’Uh oh’, indeed. Someone busted out the tequila.” She snickered, a faint smile curling one side of her lips. “You know that song about Jose Cuervo and dancing on the bar? That was me. Things got a little hazy after the first three shots. I remember the pool and a bonfire, but not much else. The next morning, I woke up, naked in the backyard.”

The crowd lost it at that point. Molly raised her hands to draw their attention back and spoke again. “Someone had very courteously covered me with a blanket. That same someone was sitting against the tree I was sleeping under, watching me.”

“Adam.” Bill nodded.

Molly smiled. “Adam.”

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Replies:

[> [> Oh Golly Miss Molly! Debi, this is fantastic. >>>> -- susiej, 18:26:39 01/12/10 Tue

>Okay, it took me some time, but I finally am replying
>to my own homework. Molly is telling a story about how
>she met the man she almost married years before.
>
>Excerpt from Downtown Babylon, copyright
>2009-2010, by Debi Matlack; all rights reserved.
>Posted for critique and sharing only; does not
>constitute publication.
>
>^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>
>Molly’s mood rose a few notches after the party got
>under way. Bill Wagner, Adam’s buddy from the Marines
>was sitting at the bar. He’d made the trip from
>Virginia for the first time and was eagerly absorbing
>the stories about his friend. During a brief lull, he
>gave Molly a quizzical look.
>
>“How did you meet Adam?”
>
>Before Molly could answer, there was a collective
>snigger from those within earshot, followed by several
>people trying to tell the story at the same time.
>
>“Hold it!” Molly rapped out. “If anyone is going to
>tell this, it’s me. I was there after all.”
>
>“Sort of,” Edith smirked.
>
>Molly pointed a steady finger at her. “You just hush.”
>
>“Now I have to hear this.” Bill grinned at her.
>
>Molly wiped an imaginary puddle off the bar. “Well,
>when I was a teenager, my best friend’s family had
>horses. Quarter horses, to be precise. I’d go hang out
>and ride, and it turns out I was pretty good at it.”
>
>“What the hell does that have to do with anything?”
>Fitz yelled from across the room.
>
>“You shut up. It’s my story.” Molly smile belied the
>harsh words. Turning back to Bill, she went on.

Molly needs an apostrophe s
>
>“Anyway, my friend’s dad let me ride one of their
>horses in shows and I seemed to have a gift for not
>falling off cutting horses, so he let me ride Bugs in
>a few shows. I must have been about eighteen, just out
>of high school. We’d been to a show near Orlando, did
>pretty well, so someone invited Betsy and I to a pool
>party. It was at a family friend’s house, so Betsy’s
>dad said okay. What he didn’t know, however, was that
>the parents weren’t home.”
>
>“Oh…” said several people. She chuckled.
>
>“Yeah, ‘oh….’ “ she mimicked. “There were a lot of
>people there I didn’t know, and one of them was this
>tall, good-looking fellow with dark hair and dark
>eyes. Very nice.”
>
>Someone made a lascivious sound, making everyone laugh.
>
>“Now, in my younger, foolish years, I was rather proud
>of my ability to hold my alcohol, but all I’d ever
>really drank was beer.”
>
>Someone in the crowd said “Uh oh.”

two sentences beginning with Someone's too close. Why not reverse this "Uh oh," said someone in the crowd."
>
>Molly nodded. “’Uh oh’, indeed. Someone busted out the
>tequila.” She snickered, a faint smile curling one
>side of her lips. “You know that song about Jose
>Cuervo and dancing on the bar? That was me. Things got
>a little hazy after the first three shots. I remember
>the pool and a bonfire, but not much else. The next
>morning, I woke up, naked in the backyard.”
>
>The crowd lost it at that point. Molly raised her
>hands to draw their attention back and spoke again.
>“Someone had very courteously covered me with a
>blanket. That same someone was sitting against the
>tree I was sleeping under, watching me.”
>
>“Adam.” Bill nodded.
>
>Molly smiled. “Adam.”

LOL

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[> [> [> Thanks susiej! -- Debi, 20:26:40 01/12/10 Tue

Thanks for catching the typos. This was written in about 15 minutes during my lunch break today. I had to come up with a story for the homework, and I pretty sure Valerie never let herself get in a situation like that. But Molly is telling me she was a bit of a wild child. I wonder what6 else she'll tell me?

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