Date Posted:15:59:46 02/07/10 Sun Author: susiej Subject: Yep, I had missed that post. Clears a few things up. >>> In reply to:
Esther
's message, "Hey Susie >>>" on 18:09:16 02/05/10 Fri
Even so, it's a lot of information and complex thoughts packed into each scene. It takes some concentration to read. There's not a lot of describing the scenery, ofcourse, since there really isn't scenery. Never any talk of clothes or what their eating, driving, etc-none of this is a flaw- i'm just pointing this out to tell you there's no pauses where things come easy to the reader (at least this reader) as there is in other tales.
This is a part of the story that consists of a whole big bunch of dialogue. I find all this talk a bit worrisome, and then the issue of having a break in what is going on is even more worrisome because I have a feeling what I put in as a break isn’t interpreted as such. Cadmus taking her back to the mall, and…well…this was to be a bit of a break as well. Just Darian and Heather talking, maybe revealing some things, maybe foreshadowing what’s to come. Obviously, it wasn’t quite right. *G*
But yeah, I hear you. You’re definitely correct in that there should be something. And now that I have an idea of what needs to be there, I should be able to add something in! Thank You!
