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>>With tales like yours, I really need the beginning to >>grasp the depth of it completly, so if I try to crit I >>guess I wouldn't do your work justice. > ><b>You always do my work justice. And I appreciate >you taking the time to read and comment. </b> >> >>So I think I might be better of with a generell >>impression. I think this piece is very intense and >>filled with a lot of emotion. That comes out very >>clear. But you manage to loose me with most of the >>shiftings of the worlds and than it takes a time for >>me to get a hold again. I also don't quite get their >>powers jet, but I guess that is due to the fact that >>this is only the 2nd or 3rd piece of the storie I have >>read. The good thing I can say is that even though you >>use quite a lot of dialogue, it is always clear here >>who is talking. And I start to get a feel for the >>characters, which I didn't get in the last >>installment. You slip in motives very skillfully in >>just half sentences as well als out front, and that >>keeps me on reading although I don't have gotten the >>concept of the surrounding yet. It makes your >>charakters real to me even though I don't know yet >>what exactly they are. And that says something, for I >>am a very visual person. On the other hand, that means >>if you wanted to bring the attention on the >>surrounding at some point, I didn't get that. >>I hope that helps. > ><b>And general impressions are always welcome. > >I hear you about their shifting worlds. I’ll try and >get the transitions to be a bit clearer, and maybe by >doing that I can break up some of that dialogue, >because that has always worried me. > >And here is one of those things I like to hear. You >are a visual person, whereas, I don’t think I am which >is why I missed the whole surrounding thing. I try >really hard actually, to avoid detailed descriptions, >being of the opinion that I shouldn’t describe it; I >should have the characters interact with what’s around >them. And now thanks to the comments I have received, >I’m getting an inkling of what needs to be done. >Thanks! > >This has been most helpful! > >Hugs > >Esther</b>
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