Date Posted:07:56:49 03/05/10 Fri Author: Lady Morilka Subject: That is a though one again >>> In reply to:
Esther
's message, "Back to the mirrors >>>" on 12:18:44 02/03/10 Wed
With tales like yours, I really need the beginning to grasp the depth of it completly, so if I try to crit I guess I wouldn't do your work justice.
So I think I might be better of with a generell impression. I think this piece is very intense and filled with a lot of emotion. That comes out very clear. But you manage to loose me with most of the shiftings of the worlds and than it takes a time for me to get a hold again. I also don't quite get their powers jet, but I guess that is due to the fact that this is only the 2nd or 3rd piece of the storie I have read. The good thing I can say is that even though you use quite a lot of dialogue, it is always clear here who is talking. And I start to get a feel for the characters, which I didn't get in the last installment. You slip in motives very skillfully in just half sentences as well als out front, and that keeps me on reading although I don't have gotten the concept of the surrounding yet. It makes your charakters real to me even though I don't know yet what exactly they are. And that says something, for I am a very visual person. On the other hand, that means if you wanted to bring the attention on the surrounding at some point, I didn't get that.
I hope that helps.
>With tales like yours, I really need the beginning to
>grasp the depth of it completly, so if I try to crit I
>guess I wouldn't do your work justice.
You always do my work justice. And I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.
>
>So I think I might be better of with a generell
>impression. I think this piece is very intense and
>filled with a lot of emotion. That comes out very
>clear. But you manage to loose me with most of the
>shiftings of the worlds and than it takes a time for
>me to get a hold again. I also don't quite get their
>powers jet, but I guess that is due to the fact that
>this is only the 2nd or 3rd piece of the storie I have
>read. The good thing I can say is that even though you
>use quite a lot of dialogue, it is always clear here
>who is talking. And I start to get a feel for the
>characters, which I didn't get in the last
>installment. You slip in motives very skillfully in
>just half sentences as well als out front, and that
>keeps me on reading although I don't have gotten the
>concept of the surrounding yet. It makes your
>charakters real to me even though I don't know yet
>what exactly they are. And that says something, for I
>am a very visual person. On the other hand, that means
>if you wanted to bring the attention on the
>surrounding at some point, I didn't get that.
>I hope that helps.
And general impressions are always welcome.
I hear you about their shifting worlds. I’ll try and get the transitions to be a bit clearer, and maybe by doing that I can break up some of that dialogue, because that has always worried me.
And here is one of those things I like to hear. You are a visual person, whereas, I don’t think I am which is why I missed the whole surrounding thing. I try really hard actually, to avoid detailed descriptions, being of the opinion that I shouldn’t describe it; I should have the characters interact with what’s around them. And now thanks to the comments I have received, I’m getting an inkling of what needs to be done. Thanks!
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I'm working my way up from the bottom again ;) but life has a way of intruding my plans ever so often ;) -- Lady Morilka, 09:48:08 03/05/10 Fri
