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Date Posted: 10:04:45 12/06/09 Sun
Author: Debi
Subject: LOL, but you did find it!
In reply to: Page 's message, "Holy smoke, I almost missed this! I've gotta learn to scroll down when I log on >>>>" on 01:15:07 12/06/09 Sun

>>No Page, not one of those kinds of scenes, though I
>>did write one earlier that kinda took me by surprise.
>>I'll review it and see what needs to be fixed, then
>>I'll pass it along.
>
>What? Me? Am I that obvious? Of course I am. So
>is it fixed? The whole "took me by surprise" has me
>intrigued...

>>
I'm off to revisit that scene right now. Last weekend is a bit of a blur, after writing that much in just a few days...
>>
>>Gil grinned as he doffed his helmet. “I guess we
>>better feed you before you start looking at my like
>>I’m lunch.”
>>
>>“Either way,” she agreed. “This is a little more
>>public than my tastes run to for the other, but I’ll
>>take a rain check.”
>
>Okay, at least I'm not alone in thinking what I
>thought when he said that. LOL


He's always thinking about sex, he's a man...;-)

>>“I just wanted to talk to you about us.”
>>
>>Suspicion leaped to the forefront as she looked up to
>>meet his eyes, no longer thinking about the hypnotic
>>feel of his hand on her skin. “What about us?”
>
>I know why she's suspicious. Men never want
>to talk about relationships. Sports, cars, electronic
>gadgets, yes. Relationships, no. So if he's bringing
>it up, then it's heavy.


Ain't it the truth...

>>“Never mind.”
>>
>>“No, Gil. Tell me what you want to say.”
>>
>>“Why, so you can shrug and laugh?”
>
>I know this was written during a marathon, but this
>part has me a tad confused. If she sounded suspicious
>and in disbelief, why would Gil think she'd shrug and
>laugh?


I honestly don't know. I need to revisit this and try to clarify what they were telling me. He got his feelings in a bunch and was reluctant to tell her (or me) why, so I'm going to have to investigate further.

>>“I guess I realized something else last time too. I’m
>>not cut out for the road any more. I love the life,
>>love the people, but I just can’t keep it up. You know
>>how sand in an hourglass seems to flow faster as the
>>amount in the top half decreases? That's what my life
>>feels like.” He smiled at her, a rueful expression. “I
>>guess I’m just getting old.”
>>
>>“Got news for you, honey,” she told him, “I feel about
>>a million years old, every time you leave.”
>
>Awww...

Well, she does...;-) She wanted him to stay for a long time, but never felt she should ask.
>
>Oh, this is nice! It's a great interlude, and a
>very relaxed way to show more of Gil's personality,
>and a hint of what's been going on between the two of
>them. I liked it!


Thank you. Downtown Babylon still has a lot going on, but I think I have the bones of the story in place. Now just to flesh it out a bit more.

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