What about me Jacko reviews then? Hey, I didn't know Michael Burke had a role in <I>Se7en</i>. Just watched <I>Three Colours: White</i> (can't be arsed to look up the French title just to be pretentious) Not quite as good as I remembered, that one. I remembered the first two being a ** then a **** before, but this time it was more like **** then *** - I wonder what you'll make of them? Here's a look ahead to your review in the secret clicker... -- Griff's Movie Review Message Board

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Date Posted: 21:24:30 06/12/01 Tue
Author: Rich
Subject: What about me Jacko reviews then? Hey, I didn't know Michael Burke had a role in Se7en. Just watched Three Colours: White (can't be arsed to look up the French title just to be pretentious) Not quite as good as I remembered, that one. I remembered the first two being a ** then a **** before, but this time it was more like **** then *** - I wonder what you'll make of them? Here's a look ahead to your review in the secret clicker...
In reply to: Rich 's message, "Ello, Grigg. Oh, you'd posted that review ages ago, eh? I dunno, I keep missing stuff, must get my contacts renewed," on 20:37:09 06/12/01 Tue

THREE COLOURS BLUE (1993)

By Grigg Grigger

This is a real snooze of a film, beginning with a woman (note to self: name the actress, then include a full cast list including the tea lady at the end of the review) involved in a car crash. Sadly, the car doesn't fly.

This is one big bore, and to be honest I'd sooner be having a Tommy Tank or going into one of my world-renowned mardies rather than having to watch this great clunky droner again.

It has depth, beauty and subtle psychology - yawn! I mean, what the fuck? Half the time the camera just stays still - Christ, Bobby Zee (and I've come) would have mounted it on a virgin's undulating tits and spun her on one of the big dippers at Alton Towers to film this. It's just plain lazy, surely?

Art film - bollocks! No stars.

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Replies:

Yeah, what about your Jacko reviews? Ha ha ha! You don't half bang on sometimes, I tend to nod off half way through reading them and when I wake up a couple of hours later I forget to post a reply and toddle off to get a cup of cocoa instead. But after your in-depth analysis of my Dracula review, maybe I should start replying a bit more! Bog off! (NT) -- Griff, 07:13:26 06/13/01 Wed
- I could go on about all the films that are on Sky next week, like American History X, Boom Town, Them! Your Friends and Neighbours, Election, A Day at the Races, Guest House Paradiso, Halloween H20, More American Graffiti, Friday the 13th Part 2, Mystery Men, 1941 and loads more, but I won't cos I know you'll only wet your nappy in a jealous piss fit! Here are my star ratings for your preview though: Kiss The Girls **, Crocodile Dundee II **, Suture ***1/2 (up yours!), Close Encounters *, Mercury Rising ***, From Russia With Love **. Griff's shitty terrestrial previews extra: Elmer Gantry, Suspicion, Obsession, Witness for the Prosecution, Gaslight. How do you cope with only five channels, Rich? I couldn't do it meself. (NT) -- Griff, 07:25:02 06/13/01 Wed
  - Blakes 7-wise, you've missed the first two on your list but Headhunter and Assassin are on this Sunday! So's The Image of the Fendahl, which I'll try not to miss this time. I bought the two Buffy disc sets yesterday, and irritatingly the season two set if taller and thinner than the first one, plus the design's completely different! I hate it when they do that - why can't they make 'em look all the same? It looks a lot better on your shelf. The vids do that and they look really classy. (NT) -- Griff, 07:28:29 06/13/01 Wed
    - No comment on the events of Big Grigger? Anyway, I'll sign off for now cos I don't want to bang on. (NT) -- Rich, 18:29:13 06/13/01 Wed
      - Aw, don't cry Rich. Kiss kiss! Go and watch your Tweenies videos and have a nice cup of juice, there there. (NT) -- Griff, 08:17:20 06/14/01 Thu

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