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Date Posted: 09:21:03 04/23/02 Tue
Author: moomin
Author Host/IP: 6.core.plus.net / 212.159.1.6
Subject: do you often go through the personal ads? he he
In reply to: Andy Hayward 's message, "Deciphering ads" on 17:45:52 04/22/02 Mon

>Handy Dictionary to decipher Personals Ads
>WOMEN'S ADS
>40-ish...................... 49
>Adventurer.................. Slept with all your
>friends
>Athletic.................... No tits
>Average looking............. Has a face like a basset
>hound
>Beautiful................... Pathological liar
>Contagious Smile............ Does a lot of Ecstasy
>Educated.................... Banged her Political
>Science professor
>Emotionally Secure.......... Medicated
>Feminist.................... Fat ballbuster
>Free spirit................. Junkie
>Friendship first............ Trying to live down
>reputation as a slut
>Fun......................... Annoying
>Gentle...................... Comatose
>Good Listener............... Borderline Autistic
>New-Age..................... All body hair, all the
>time
>Old-fashioned............... Lights out,missionary
>position only, no BJs
>Open-minded................. Desperate
>Outgoing.................... Loud and Embarrassing
>Passionate.................. Sloppy drunk
>Poet........................ Depressive Schizophrenic
>Professional................ Certified Bitch
>Redhead..................... Bad dye-job
>Reubenesque................. Grossly Fat
>Romantic.................... Looks better by candle
>light
>Social...................... Has been passed around
>like an hors d'oeuvres tray
>Voluptuous.................. Very Fat
>Weight proportion w/height.. Hugely Fat
>Wants Soulmate.............. Stalker
>Widow....................... Drove first husband to
>shoot himself
>Young at heart.............. Old bat
>MEN'S ADS
>40-ish................ 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
>Athletic.............. Watches a lot of NASCAR
>Average looking....... Unusual hair growth on ears,
>nose, & back
>Educated.............. Will patronize the shit out of
>you
>Free Spirit........... Banging your sister
>Friendship first...... As long as friendship involves
>nookie
>Fun................... Good with a remote and a six
>pack
>Good looking.......... Arrogant
>Very good looking..... Dumb as a board
>Honest................ Pathological Liar
>Huggable.............. Overweight, more body hair than
>a bear
>Likes to cuddle....... Insecure mama's boy
>Mature................ Older than your father
>Open-minded........... Wants to sleep with your
>roommate but she's not
>interested
>Physically fit........ Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
>Poet.................. Wrote ex-girlfriend's # on a
>bathroom stall
>Sensitive............. Cries at chick flicks
>Very sensitive........ Gay
>Spiritual............. Got laid in a cemetery once
>Stable................ Arrested for stalking, but not
>convicted
>Thoughtful............ Says "Excuse me" when he farts

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Replies:

  • Re: Deciphering ads -- Andy Hayward, 10:42:39 04/23/02 Tue
  • I've got to stop typing stuff in the message box. It means people have to click to see what you've written! (NT) -- Andy Hayward, 10:44:19 04/23/02 Tue
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