OK, I cannot sleep tonight, ? about discipline? (m) -- Child Care Providers

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Date Posted: 01:01:31 04/13/03 Sun
Author: KS75
Subject:

OK, I cannot sleep tonight, ? about discipline? (m)

I went to a wonderful daycare training today. The speaker was great! She is an
elementary counselor. She praised us all as daycare providers and said that we have one
of the most important occupations of all. (not that I already did not know this) LOL

She explained how all children need consequences for their behavior. She told us how
we need to set up our rules, and the consequences of what breaking these rules are.

We did charts, talked about *time out* and that it is OK for a child to be angry. When a
child has hit , hurt someone, or taken a toy away and they need a time out we need to talk
to them about, *why* , *how are they feeling*, *is this appropriate , we need for them to
express their feelings to us. We need to tell them that what they did is not a good way to
handle the situation. Many children come to us with a lot of baggage from home. They
are frustrated, angry and do not know how to handle these emotions. She said that for
every negative, a child needs three positives. So if little Johnny hit little Susie and had to
have time out with our talking to him about it, later in the day we could find three things
to praise him about.so we can lift him up. The more we lift up the kids that are
sometimes the problem children, the more we can improve their self esteem.

One example she gave was of a child that was very much the 4th. grade bully. When she
implemented a program for him to be the mentor of the first grade bully�s (she has a
check list for this), he soon became a positive roll model. He felt good about what he was
doing to help the younger children that he no longer needed to be a bully. All he needed
was to feel good about himself. So, if we put our older kids to work that are causing
problems, say it be the 4 to 5 yr. olds, we can implement the same results. I know this to
be true, as I have done this. The older kids know the consequences, thus they pass it
down.

She had so many great ideas on how to handle misbehavior. We never know what has
happened at home, be it a rushed morning, Mom and Dad fighting, child neglect, or
parental guilt of not spending so much time with their little ones. (the last one is a huge
factor in all of this). It is the child running the household, and *no* is not an option with
Mom or Dad. We can have a huge impact on all of this. It is up to us to set those
boundaries and follow through. The children spend much more time with us than they do
at home. We can have a huge impact on how they respect others and themselves, how
they behave and know the consequences to that behavior.

I could go on and on about this. I guess my point is to follow through with what we
expect from them. For most of us this is just common sense. The problem is too many
children are not given this choice. Children love and need boundaries to make it in this
world. Part of our job is to offer that to them.

~Kris

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