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Date Posted: 12:44:20 06/14/04 Mon
Author: bfny
Subject: my first reaction
In reply to: BFIH 's message, "I R a campaign manager" on 11:39:01 06/14/04 Mon

I would significantly cut down on the text I think -- my voters don't want to wade through all of that. I would also refrain from terms like ibid, touts, and "utilize my connections" -- those are unlikely to draw a voter in. I'd also get rid of as much as I can about the "drug courts" - unless that is some burning issue on the minds of most voters. Instead, I'd stick to the basics -- "soft on crime" "drug dealer's paradise" - on the what Steve'd do category, I wouldn't lead with "improve testimonial skills" -- another phrase I'd kill as too high-falutin for voters -- I'd lead with "maximum sentences" and no plea deals stuff. In the about Steve section, I think I would be less folksy - believe it or not. I don't think (and I could be wrong here) that folks want more no-nonsense stuff from a county attorney -- think I'd stick to the legal background but would try to punch that section up by talking about the convictions he's won or the bad guys that he's gone after -- especially if it's in the area of meth labs.

Finally, I think I would kill this: "Some of those factors are beyond the control of any one person, but if we all come together we can make a difference." -- I think to myself WWRD - What would Rudy (Giuliani) do? My take is that John Q. Citizen wants to elect someone who nail these drug dealers without relying on John Q. Citizen in the fight. Just my two cents. I like the piece so I hope this doesn't come across as too critical but hey this is kind of what I do for a living.

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