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Saturday, May 16, 11:30:29am [ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, [2], 3, 4, 5, 6 ]

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Date Posted: 18:28:01 01/11/04 Sun
Author: Jo
Subject: I totally agree with Lynece....m
In reply to: Lauren 's message, "the whole world" on 16:13:03 01/09/04 Fri

Tell her what your issues are at the present time - note to her that you know in the future these feelings will find a newer home, but for now, they are residing in your heart. And I would seriously consider asking for an older companion that is not in her childbearing years...or one that has had at least experienced a similar loss. Sometimes it is just the fact that you are with someone who knows the journey you are on that makes all the difference in the world.

Somehow, I could tolerate people who had had a los becoming pg more than just 'anyone' in the ward...and like Lynece, the primary end bathroom became my place to exist on many Sundays. One thing that kept me going was that others who had had a loss told me to be patient with myself and not to do more than I could...well, it became my mantra and if I couldn't tolerate something, I said so (the first was a mom in the nursery who was very pg and whining/complaining and I finally just said it like it was - that I'd be so grateful to change places with her and I'd cut off my right arm to have all of those discomforts).

Anyhow, just know that it will pass - do only what you feel you can.

Jo

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Replies:

[> Lauren... like the others have pointed out you aren't alone (m) -- Heath111, 21:44:23 01/19/04 Mon

I remember the feeling and am so glad that I was able to get pg later and join the group. I just remember going even to Target and seeing how 'everyone' was pg. I'm guessing the world was the same as when I was pg and I just seemed different. I agree... if you need a new VT companion then I would ask for one.

I will say though that for me probably one of the greatest things I have learned since my Niko died is how to be happy for other people when they get the things I want. It didn't happen immediately by any means (it's been 5 years now) but it did happen. It did take many Fast Sundays with late attendance, several missed baby showers with a gift sent along with someone else, etc. Don't expect too much of yourself.

Sorry you are hurting so much now,

Heather


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