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Date Posted: 07:49:57 10/06/03 Mon
Author: Heather
Subject: I am having such a hard time with this

I just don't understand all of this, why me, why Noah.
I know in my heart that he had a higher calling but that just isn't enough sometimes. I know he has touched so many peoples lives in his sort time here but I am driving myself crazy with the what if's and why's. He has taught us so much but I just want him here!

I had my 6 week check up and the first thing the nurse says
"Hi Heather, How is your baby doing?" I gave her a few seconds to see if she would catch herself but she didn't and I just blurted out "My baby died" I am not even sure where that came from. She rubbed my sholder and said sorry but that was the end of that. I left there a total mess!
I don't think I can ever go back to that office again. Thank goodness paps are once a yr. I can even do that at the gen prat. Dr. I am a mess.

I miss my Noah so very much my heart hurts and I have such a empty feeling in my life!

Thanks for listening,
Heather
Mommy to Kennedy and Jordan and Noah born into the arms of Angels on Aug 22nd 2003

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