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Date Posted: 13:59:07 10/28/05 Fri
Author: manwitch
Subject: I'm gonna swallow my tears...
In reply to: Sunshine 's message, "Re: The term you are looking for is "whore chasing"" on 12:33:35 10/28/05 Fri

" Sometimes, one person has to overlook the hurt and say I forego my justified counter-attack and I forgive you."

And that someone should be Buffy. And metaphorically Buffy is us. So we should recognize that we maybe need to be that person.

I buy that. I agree.

But I also agree with Phil Jackson that sometimes you have to harden your heart. Phil once had occasion to return to Montana to the pentecostal charismatic church of which his father was minister. And they tried to do this thing where "someone here who is touched by sin and avarice" would come up in front of the congregation and repent amidst tears and comotion. And of course Phil was the target. He sat stonefaced and immovable until they gave up, which was a long time. Can you imagine? Resisting that volume of pressure, but especially in your father's house of worship? When asked later if that was difficult for him, he said "Sometimes you have to harden your heart."

If our repentance comes from pressure, rather than inner direction it isn't good for much. I think the same would be true of buffy's forgiveness in this specific instance. Riley's wrongs were too great, Xander's words too outrageously innacurate. Buffy is usually inner directed. Her gut, apart from being taut and sexy, is almost always right. Even when she makes mistakes or does the wrong thing, which is rare, you get the impression she kinda knew. But here she tosses her own instincts to the wind for, well, I shouldn't characterize it cuz I'll get in trouble. But she woulda been ok to maintain her trust in herself. She was letting him go because IF that was his choice, then he should go.

I also think sometimes there is a large percentage of the Buffy audience that hears Xander as "the voice of the show," and when he says things they think the show is speaking. Xander seems to get believed a little too much for my taste. In this instance, his insights into the Buffy/Riley relationship are appallingly innacurate. I think in a strange way some of my hostility towards the Xander character comes not just from his abrasive words to Buffy throughout the series, but the degree to which those words are viewed in some way to be authoritative. Xander is soooooo wrong soooooo often.

But you're right. I should get over myself and forgive him.

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