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Date Posted: 12:33:35 10/28/05 Fri
Author: Sunshine
Subject: Re: The term you are looking for is "whore chasing"
In reply to: manwitch 's message, "The term you are looking for is "whore chasing"" on 11:58:24 10/28/05 Fri

I was perhaps giving too much credit to Xander but I do believe Buffy bears some responsibility for the state of Buffy/Riley relations. In my experience, very few relationship implosions are the fault of just one of the participants. This is not to justify Riley's actions and in fact I never really completely understood why he was whore chasing in the first place at it seemed totally out of character. The best I could come up with was that he was experiencing some sort of emotional crisis. I think Buffy did hold back and he sensed this lack of commitment. He acted inappropriately and she certainly would have been justified in telling him to get lost, but is this really what Buffy wanted? I think Buffy’s reaction to the return of Riley in AYW indicates that she really did have genuine feelings for him and that things had just spiraled out of control in season 5. I believe Xander said “If Riley is the guy…”. I did not interpret his position as “Riley is the guy and you are at fault here”. I suppose my position is influenced by my own sorry history with romantic attachments. I belief that finding that right person is so damn difficult that when you do have a candidate, do not toss this person aside without considering exactly what you have and what you will lose (I am not advocating holding on to a bad relationship, only that you need to think carefully about what you are doing). I think we are prone to making rash decisions, especially in the heat of the moment. Sometimes, one person has to overlook the hurt and say “I forego my justified counter-attack and I forgive you. What we have is worth fighting for.”. If this is what Xander is suggesting, then I agree with him. If not, then maybe I need to watch this scene again, maybe I am projecting my own views on Xander’s actions and he was in fact being self righteous etc.

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