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Date Posted: 13:05:46 10/26/04 Tue
Author: By Dee Anne Merriman
Subject: Romantic chemistry: The mystery of attraction

Romantic chemistry: The mystery of attraction
By Dee Anne Merriman

It’s a miracle. Your eyes meet. Your personalities click, and your secret, inner souls connect. You can feel the chemistry sizzling in your heart and spreading to your extremities — and I mean all of them.

For me, chemistry meant the world was orderly and predictable. Remember your highschool chemistry lab? Everyone set up the same experiment. The formula called for two ounces of this and 1.5 ounces of that. You raised the heat on the Bunsen burner, and in exactly seven seconds, you had sparks. You had chemistry sizzling. It was all so predictable and sure.

The chemistry of love is anything but scientific
Throw away those test tubes and bottle brushes. Equations and experiments never apply when you add the human factor. You can put one person together with another and still end up with zero sparks and no fire. You can do it a hundred times with no response. And then, boom! The chemistry of love ignites flames of passion, and all is right with the world. Go figure. Love ain’t no thinking thing.

Dave must have met a hundred men in the past year at all sorts of places. Most were nice enough, but the chemistry just wasn’t there.

In the same year, John had met for coffee fourteen times and been on thirty-two lunch dates. He’d emailed and talked to more than fifty guys, but the chemistry never reached a boil with any of them.

Then after meeting online, Dave and John met for a drink one evening. They were immediately drawn to each other by a magnetic attraction. As they talked and laughed, the fireworks began to light up their worlds. It wasn’t long before they could look into each other’s eyes and feel the chemistry of the soul.

What is this crazy, mysterious thing called "chemistry?"
You’ve heard it many times before: "He was nice enough, but there just wasn’t any chemistry." It’s the big buzzword in dating these days. Nothing seems to baffle singles more. When you look at its different aspects, though, chemistry’s not such a mystery after all.

It starts with the attraction you feel in the first five minutes of meeting. Then real, full-blown chemistry flows into a combination of different areas that bind two souls together.

Dr. John Gray says in his book, Mars and Venus on a Date, "There are basically four areas of chemistry between dating partners: Physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. Physical chemistry generates desire. Emotional chemistry generates affection. Mental chemistry creates interest. Spiritual chemistry creates love. A soul mate includes all four."

"I believe chemistry is more than a physical attraction," says Bob, a local single guy. "It’s an attitude, a passion for life. It’s a whole combination of intelligence, sexuality and an emotional connection to the other person."

The law of attraction works the magic
In organic chemistry, opposites may attract. But in romantic chemistry, likes attract. It’s that law of similar attraction that helps work the magic. When two people meet, it is their similarities in the four areas of chemistry (physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual) that will increase the chance of a "chemical click."

"I have always wondered about chemistry," said Tonya, a single friend. "There is always a part of us that craves the familiar. I think chemistry has to do with a need to connect with people similar to us. When we click with someone, we seem to speak the same language. Our personalities mesh. We share the same values and philosophy. We feel the same spiritual connection."

While there is no hard and fast rule to explain romantic chemistry, the law of attraction helps us unravel some of its mysteries. Match.com helps us search out and meet more dating partners who are similar to us. While you still never know exactly when the lightning of chemistry will strike, online dating helps us to increase the odds.

So don’t try to think about it all too hard. Search for local singles, and with the laws of attraction in mind, keep meeting new people and find new friends. Enjoy the dating journey and follow your heart. It could help you unravel the mysteries of romantic chemistry for yourself.

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