Subject:  Kids that kill ... |
Author:
Relo from StL
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Date Posted: 10:53:38 03/15/01 Thu
In reply to:
Kim
's message, "Re: What is the "inner comforter"?" on 07:10:37 03/15/01 Thu
I think we can agree, in the main. The older the child is, the more responsibility should be placed on him/her and less on the parent. By the time a child reaches 14 or 15, he/she is old enough to know what he/she is doing.
However, I find it incredible that a child can gather an arsenal within the home without the parent knowing about it. How can you say a parent really knows a child when they don't even know something like that? A good parent is one a child can talk to in confidence, and share what hurts them. Children that kill have undoubtedly much within them that hurts, and it has been gathering there for years.
Also, a parent that keeps guns in the home is certainly responsible if he/she does not keep them in a secure place, and they are taken by their children and used in a crime.
>
>>Which brings us around to what started this thread.
>>Why are we seeing so much evil from children these
>>days (i.e. shootings in school)? Parents have failed
>>to train these children to choose good. They have
>>failed to love them as God intended.
>
>Relo,
>I beg to differ, even GOOD parents, who have thaught
>their kids right from wrong have the same problem. Are
>you saying that EVERY child who kills someone, their
>parents didn't teach them good enough? I think not.
Each case is its own story. One should NEVER conclude that EVERY child will do so for the same reason. On the flip side, I'm sure you could come up with cases where a child has had an atrocious upbringing, but never killed anyone. Yes, there are a lot of factors that combine to produce a killer. Many of them are societal, a function of what we accept as normal. That is why I am so distressed at what is TODAY being accepted as normal, and the momentum is in the wrong direction.
>Kids at that age, do what they want to do, it doesn't
>matter how their folks brought them up. They make
>there own choices. If your son flew off the handle
>tomorrow and shot up some old man...who's to
>blame...you, or your child? You can love them, and
>cuddle them, and teach them alot, take em to church,
>think ya got the best in the world, and one day,
>something snaps in that little head, and to say the
>parent is at fault everytime, is a copout. There is
>something wrong with the child, not always the parent
>or their parenting.
>
I have not been a parent, so I need to watch what I say, but I expect if a son of mine were to do something like that, I would feel a tremendous burden of responsibility.
>Those kids that shot up Columbine, their folks were
>good folks. They loved their kids, took em to
>church....even the parents of the dead kids they they
>were AOK people. Great parents....It's not there fault
>their kids killed. It's their problem, but not their
>fault. I will say SOMETIMES...and I mean sometimes, it
>is, but people like to place that blame on someone
>other than the child, and that's just wrong.
Whoa! Lets NOT let all the murderers out! Many of them did their deeds as adults, and deserve to be in the slammer!
>Lets just let ALL the murders out, since they had a bad
>childhood, and their folks didn't raise them right.
Besides, it is never a good solution to release a killer into society, even if he/she is judged not responsible.
>When does it stop being the parents fault Relo????????
>When does the child take responsiblity for his/her own
>actions?
>
As noted above, the process is gradual. I would say that by age 18, the child is fully responsible. Before age 10 or so, the parent is responsible. (Pick your own ages if you disagree.)
>
>You could have the best parent in the world, did their
>very best, and have a kid that still kills someone.
>
>Place blame where it belongs.
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