Subject:  Re: Kids that kill ... |
Author:
Kim
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Date Posted: 11:17:05 03/15/01 Thu
In reply to:
Relo from StL
's message, "Kids that kill ..." on 10:53:38 03/15/01 Thu
>I think we can agree, in the main. The older the
>child is, the more responsibility should be placed on
>him/her and less on the parent. By the time a child
>reaches 14 or 15, he/she is old enough to know what
>he/she is doing.
Exactly,
and most child killers are that old or older, and we still blame the parents.
>However, I find it incredible that a child can gather
>an arsenal within the home without the parent knowing
>about it. How can you say a parent really knows a
>child when they don't even know something like that?
Point well taken. I would know what was in my house at all times.
>A good parent is one a child can talk to in
>confidence, and share what hurts them. Children that
>kill have undoubtedly much within them that hurts, and
>it has been gathering there for years.
Even if a child has the best parent, they don't always talk to their folks Relo. They know they can, understand the door is open, but just won't. Not all killer have underlining hurt either. Some do it for kicks.
>Also, a parent that keeps guns in the home is
>certainly responsible if he/she does not keep them in
>a secure place, and they are taken by their children
>and used in a crime.
Exactly why there are no guns in my house, but even so, my son's dad keeps guns in the living room, I had them in my home growing up, all over the house. Even one in the kitchen. It's all a matter of how you raise your kids. Christian knows guns kill, and he understands not to ever touch them, or even pint a play gun at someone, however, if he were to ever kill someone some day, with one of those guns, it would not be my ex's fault. Christian made a choice, and he has to pay up. He knows right from wrong, what he does with it is his call.
>>>Which brings us around to what started this thread.
>>>Why are we seeing so much evil from children these
>>>days (i.e. shootings in school)? Parents have failed
>>>to train these children to choose good. They have
>>>failed to love them as God intended.
>>
>>Relo,
>>I beg to differ, even GOOD parents, who have thaught
>>their kids right from wrong have the same problem. Are
>>you saying that EVERY child who kills someone, their
>>parents didn't teach them good enough? I think not.
>
>Each case is its own story. One should NEVER conclude
>that EVERY child will do so for the same reason. On
>the flip side, I'm sure you could come up with cases
>where a child has had an atrocious upbringing, but
>never killed anyone. Yes, there are a lot of factors
>that combine to produce a killer. Many of them are
>societal, a function of what we accept as normal.
>That is why I am so distressed at what is TODAY being
>accepted as normal, and the momentum is in the wrong
>direction.
>
>>Kids at that age, do what they want to do, it doesn't
>>matter how their folks brought them up. They make
>>there own choices. If your son flew off the handle
>>tomorrow and shot up some old man...who's to
>>blame...you, or your child? You can love them, and
>>cuddle them, and teach them alot, take em to church,
>>think ya got the best in the world, and one day,
>>something snaps in that little head, and to say the
>>parent is at fault everytime, is a copout. There is
>>something wrong with the child, not always the parent
>>or their parenting.
>>
>I have not been a parent, so I need to watch what I
>say, but I expect if a son of mine were to do
>something like that, I would feel a tremendous burden
>of responsibility.
Relo. your a good God fearing man. You would raise your children right, if he did turn bad, why would it be your fault? I see good folks asking themselfs the same questions, beating themselfs to death for something their teenager did. Once again, teens know right from wrong, it's not the parents fault they choose wrong.
>>Those kids that shot up Columbine, their folks were
>>good folks. They loved their kids, took em to
>>church....even the parents of the dead kids they they
>>were AOK people. Great parents....It's not there fault
>>their kids killed. It's their problem, but not their
>>fault. I will say SOMETIMES...and I mean sometimes, it
>>is, but people like to place that blame on someone
>>other than the child, and that's just wrong.
>Whoa! Lets NOT let all the murderers out! Many of
>them did their deeds as adults, and deserve to be in
>the slammer!
My point was, if we take the blame for what our kids do wrong all the time, then we neeed to take the blame for the adults who kill too. They are children too, maybe they had a bad upbringing right...bull. Your right, let them stay in jail, just like kids should.
>>Lets just let ALL the murders out, since they had a
>bad
>>childhood, and their folks didn't raise them right.
>
>Besides, it is never a good solution to release a
>killer into society, even if he/she is judged not
>responsible.
Agreed.
>>When does it stop being the parents fault Relo????????
>>When does the child take responsiblity for his/her own
>>actions?
>>
>As noted above, the process is gradual. I would say
>that by age 18, the child is fully responsible.
>Before age 10 or so, the parent is responsible. (Pick
>your own ages if you disagree.)
I agree, under 10 or so, the fault would lie on the parent, in some cases, but from the age of 10 on, I'd say the child is at fault. Not that a 10 yr. old should be tried as an adult, but 15, hell yes.
>>You could have the best parent in the world, did their
>>very best, and have a kid that still kills someone.
>>
>>Place blame where it belongs.
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