| Subject: Writer's Block 416 |
Author:
Nikita507
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Date Posted: Thursday, October 14, 06:24:45pm
In reply to:
Nikita507
's message, "Writer's Block 414+" on Saturday, October 09, 06:46:53pm
Michael picked up the hay and tossed it towards the horses as Nikita measured out the feed. He had been beside Nikita doing the stable work as she stayed quiet. He turned as he tossed the last of it and finally cornered Nikita between a wall and the fence. “Kita… what’s going on?”
Nikita wiped her hand up over her head as she shook her head from side to side. Slowly Nikita turned her eyes back up to look at Michael. “I don’t think I’m a writer any longer.”
“You said that you have all that you want to write in your head… that you haven’t been able to write it down,” Michael pointed out as he did not let go of his grasp of his wife. Nikita looked like she was on edge and Michael thought that she would run away from him if he gave her the opportunity.
Nikita found it hard to explain. Her mind was at war. “I want to share what wonderful places we visited… but I also want to keep it for us…”
“Then maybe they can change the book,” Michael suggested as he did release one hand and place it up on Nikita’s shoulder. “No one said that you had to write about what we did.”
“But that is what people want,” Nikita tossed her head from side to side. Michael exhaled slowly knowing that Nikita wasn’t purposely always finding the opposite of what he was saying. She was confused and mixed up. “Kita… you don’t always have to give people what they want… they didn’t necessarily want the end of the Stormy Heights series.”
Nikita took her hand and placed it on Michael’s hand. She pulled it up and kissed it. Nikita tenderly kissed the hand and pulled it down to her waist. Nikita shifted her weight and leaned against the wall, an indication that she wasn’t going to run. Michael wasn’t sure that this was a comfortable place to talk, but he wasn’t going to move. He regretted that he had not picked up that something was going on with Nikita. He usually noticed things like this much sooner.
“I can write this book,” Nikita admitted as her blue eyes looked up at Michael. “But I don’t have anything in my mind for what is next.”
“Does that matter?” Michael inquired and Nikita nodded her head up and down. “I always had tons of ideas… while writing a book in the Stormy Heights series… I would have ideas of mysteries or love stories… and I would think them all out… I could hear them while I sat there writing another story… and I never wrote them because I was writing Stormy….”
Michael tilted his head and Nikita cupped Michael’s face. “I don’t hear stories any longer… and I don’t remember them… If I’m done being a writer, I don’t know what is next.”
Michael blinked his eyes. “You never really got a break from writing last year. You were still trying to force it… and you then wrote a beautiful book… maybe this is just a natural time for you to have a break.”
“It would be fine…” Nikita started and then drifted off. Michael knew then what Nikita would have added. “Kita… you can’t worry about not being pregnant right now… it’s too soon to worry.”
“It would be so different if I was pregnant… it would be acceptable for me to not be writing,” Nikita explained and Michael chuckled. “It’s ok to not be writing… you are basically working as camp staff and you just got married… it’s fine for you to take a break.”
Nikita exhaled and looked at Michael. “It has been of late… just hard to think about.”
“You’ve had a lot on your mind,” Michael added gently. “When was the last time you talked to Heather?”
Nikita winced and Michael nodded his head. “Maybe it’s time that we see her.”
“You mean I see her.”
“I mean we see her,” Michael corrected. He pulled Nikita in his arms. “I have to admit… things are a bit out of my control…. And I’m probably not making things easier.”
Nikita exhaled as she leaned against Michael. She stayed in his embraced for a good bit and then pulled away. “Aren’t you to be cooking tonight?”
“Get back to the apartment… schedule something with Heather… I’ll get back to the kitchen,” Michael grinned as he kissed Nikita’s cheek. She nodded her head up and down. She stopped Michael with her hand. “Thank you.”
“No reason to thank me, Kita… You are my wife… my love… it’s what I’m supposed to do.”
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