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Sat, May 16, 05:36:11am [ Login ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: [1], 2, 3, 4 ]

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Date Posted: Fri, Aug 05, 07:17:14pm
Author: Slurp!!!
Subject: canola oil...
In reply to: souphead 's message, "patches....." on Fri, Aug 05, 04:32:23pm


Scene: The command room of "Mascot Central", souphead is standing near "Cabinet G" holding a bottle of canola oil..Slurp is lying at soupy's feet wearing a scuba suit that is about four sizes too small. The suit has cut off all circulation to slurp's body and he is in dire straights.. Let us join this scene in progress..

Souphead: "Let's see I got the canola oil..Now what?.."

Slurp!!!: "*gurgle*..."

Souphead: "I know!! Grilled cheese sandwiches!!!...To the mascot gourmet kitchen!!!"

souphead steps over an almost unconscious Slurp!!! and carries his bottle of canola oil to the kitchen..

Slurp!!!: "This is...it...I am...seeing a bright light...might be my..time..."

slurp lies still on the ground..not moving..not breathing.. cut to a flashback of a young chimp in a Karate Gi punching a makiwara while his Sensei "Captain Baxter Von Funkenstien" the greatest mascot in the history of the world watches.

Slurp!!!: "Sensei" when I grow up will I ever be as good a mascot as you?"

Sensei Captain Baxter Von Funkenstien: "Perhaps Slurp...perhaps"

Slurp!!!: "What of souphead? How will he do?"

Sensei Captain Baxter Von Funkenstien: "who??"

slurp and the sensei: "HA HA HA ha ha..."

Sensei Captain Baxter Von Funkenstien: "Oh Slurp!! (wipes tear from corner of his eye)..*Chuckle*..You always have a way of making this old mascot smile..you are as charming as you are formidable..Please remember to keep an eye on souphead he needs constant guidance and somebody to remind him to wear his pants..Those boney legs of his greatly disturb the other students"

Slurp!!!: "Yes Sensei,...Say do you think I will ever surpass you as the worlds greatest mascot?"

Sensei Captain Baxter Von Funkenstien: "You want to be number one man???...do you???...Only if you train hard and never..I say..NEVER give up....uppp...upppppppppppppppp...."

Cut to Mascot Central. Slurp starts moving..

Slurp!!!: "never...NEVER... give...up...MUST...find a way to...to...survive...wait!!! I've got it!!!!!"

slurp starts inhaling oxygen and fills his lungs until his massive chest has expanded like never before..

Slurp!!!:"If it wasn't for my freakish gorilla-like strength I would never be able to do this. Thanks to my years of training at the Mascot Academy I have one last trick I can try".

slurp starts flexing every single muscle on his body..Soon he begins to resemble a drawing by Burne Hogarth..suddenly his super expanded muscles force the scuba suit to start tearing apart!! Within minutes slurp is standing there in a tattered wetsuit no worse for wear. He quickly walks to the uniform cabinet and puts on a regulation uniform..Just then souphead walks in..

souphead: "hey man, Ya want a grilled cheese sandwhich?"

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