I do believe John loved her in his own way, not like any of us would expect our husbands to love us in this day, but real love none the less. Doubtless more than many men of his class loved wives from arranged marriages that were so common at the time. She could have done much worse..anyone recall Mary Hawkin's Viscount? It was obvious to John that she and her mother needed someone to help the father run the estate even if Willie didn't need a father. I don't think Isobel would have settled for anyone else, it was her choice, nobody forced her. Some BOB bits of info that you perhaps haven't read about John and Isobel's relationship inside. -- LJG Discussion board

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Date Posted: 19:26:53 02/05/08 Tue
Author: Jane
Subject: I do believe John loved her in his own way, not like any of us would expect our husbands to love us in this day, but real love none the less. Doubtless more than many men of his class loved wives from arranged marriages that were so common at the time. She could have done much worse..anyone recall Mary Hawkin's Viscount? It was obvious to John that she and her mother needed someone to help the father run the estate even if Willie didn't need a father. I don't think Isobel would have settled for anyone else, it was her choice, nobody forced her. Some BOB bits of info that you perhaps haven't read about John and Isobel's relationship inside.
In reply to: Rollaine 's message, "True, but the fact is, he will never love her. He can "perform" as he says, he may love her as a friend, respect her, but he will NEVER love her in a way a husband can love a wife. And to me, there is an element of sadness to that. Strange though, John can love Jamie, but can NEVER have him. There seems to be quite a bit of unrequited love in these books. Tom Chrisite, John, maybe Isobel, Frank in a way...gee now I'm getting depressed!" on 09:54:45 02/05/08 Tue

Geneva had been "four or five" when John first visited then Isobel must have been little more than a baby. He already felt like he was part of the family and felt some obligation to them. He stopped Isobel jumping from the window the night he arrived, helped her work through her grief, shared his own grief at his father's death with her. It was his hand she held at her sister's funeral. When she showed him her new nephew she asked him if the sight of him didn't make him want to marry right away and have children of his own, she couldn't have been more than 15 at that time, but she had already romanticized him. She doubtless wanted him and as John said it was a perfectly suitable match. Maybe his sacrifice wasn't as great as Tom's. Still, he did give up his whole way of life, not just soldiering, but living in the city where he could live as he liked instead of an isolated country farm where he would have to give up any chance of """" or risk near certain exposure.

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Isobel had her own parent's close marriage as an example and no doubt hoped for the same. I think John has true affection for her which is more than could be said of some societal marriages, he also had his parent's marriage and Benedicta's current marriage of affection as well as Hal and Minnie for examples. We don't know yet what happens to John over the next couple of years that make him decide to give up the army life. Yes, he gains a son by the man he loves but he certainly wasn't in a hurry to take up that role or else he might have married Isobel sooner. (NT) -- kgp, 05:37:11 02/06/08 Wed
- AND he didn't do it till he knew Jamie was leaving! He wasn't interested in living there as Isobel's husband when Jamie was there. (NT) -- Jane, 15:31:11 02/12/08 Tue

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