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Date Posted: 15:57:47 02/02/04 Mon
Author: Cyanide
Subject: Well then...(r)
In reply to: Shanola 's message, "Okay, a couple of things..." on 22:51:19 01/25/04 Sun

First off, I have to say that the extra spaces between paragraphs is throwing me off somewhat and the occasional bold word is distracting.

Sorry, I was lazy and posted the code directly from another page.

The beginning is a little torture heavy, which I can't even believe I'm saying as most of my own stories are torture heavy all the way through.*g* Still, I found myself wondering why you didn't just tell us it was Nikita being tortured in the first part instead of trying to hide her name. There were a lot of 'she's in there and I don't think it would have hurt anything if you'd used Nikita once or twice.

Hmmm, well I'll read it through again and see if I can eliminate a few of those she's.

I am not sure that leather thongs would really tighten up enough to break ribs or even seriously constrict ribs. I think leather stretches when it is wet and then stiffens as it dries. I've seen/read about Native American indians using wet leather around the ankles, wrists and throat of their victims, to stake them out in the sun. As the leather dried, it slowly choked the victim to death. You've got it a little different in your story so you may want to check on it. And I could be wrong, too.

I'm fairly certain I am right on this, but my being wrong is not unheard of. *g*

At first I thought Janet was a little cliched...you know, the Evil Badguy/girl happy to torture people for no reason. But as I continued to read, I changed my opinion of her.

I am glad as that was a concern of mine.

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[> [> [> Ooops....(r) -- Cyanide, 16:04:52 02/02/04 Mon

Also should have said that the leather thongs did not break her ribs, her ribs were broken before they were put on.

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