| Subject: Letters to Samson - 17 |
Author:
Holly
|
[
Next Thread |
Previous Thread |
Next Message |
Previous Message
]
Date Posted: 08:08:49 06/19/06 Mon
In reply to:
Holly
's message, "Letters to Samson - 1" on 18:59:32 06/04/05 Sat
More things I need to tell you:
1. It's okay to make a mistake. It's more than okay: it means you tried. Which is more than a lot of people can say.
2. When you make a mistake, there are three steps you must take: (a) accept responsibility - no blame-shifting; (b) learn; and (c) move on. A fourth step you may need to take, depending on the circumstances? Apologize. I tend to go with something like, "I'm sorry. I (messed up, flaked, lost my temper, etc., usually with, um, stronger words), but the apologies I've appreciated from others usually consist of an acknowledgement (I'm sorry I was late - I lost track of time), a little empathy (I hope you weren't too worried), and a sincere promise to do better next time.
3. This one's way in the future for you, and may never be relevant, but if you ever marry a woman, and she wants children, you have to let her decide how many to have - even if you disagree. It's not really fair, but you don't get an equal vote. If you try to cut her off before she's done she will either leave you, or stay and hate you. So know yourself, know what you want, and be willing to let her go if it's truly different from what she wants. There are other situations like this one. That last bit of advice is important even if you never fall in love.
4. Keep walking up to new kids and making friends no matter how uncomfortable I seem. I worry that they'll hurt your feelings. I should worry about letting you develop strong self-esteem and good social skills. I know you can sense my apprehension, and I'm sorry. I'll try to relax and let you be you. Because you're still the best person I know.
5. If someone says something mean to you, remember to tell yourself - usually inside your head, but there are times when out loud might be appropriate - "So what? Who cares?" Mean words always say more about the person saying them than they do about the person hearing them. Even when they're true. Which they almost never are.
6. Last one for today - anyone who makes fun of your name, your clothes, your speech, your looks, your taste in music, books, tv, etc. has issues. But nobody's perfect. Sometimes people with issues can end up being good friends. One of my best friends in the world used to be really mean to me. I didn't know that she had things to deal with that were stresing her out big time. I had my own issues, too (it was never okay to make a mistake in my house, and anything bad anyone said about me was true). It took awhile, but we've been friends for 34 years.
So, whether it's your mistake or someone else's, be ready to acknowledge it, let it go, move on, see the good in yourself and others.
[
Next Thread |
Previous Thread |
Next Message |
Previous Message
]
| |
Feedback: 